Practical Magick

On our way home from school. Two shopping bags and the kids' schoolbags dangling from the steer of my bike as I walk, the kids on either side of me. We all hate this time of the year. It's cold, and gray, and on top of that it's raining. Not very hard, but enough to get soaked during the half hour it takes us to get home. We get to the traffic lights at the big crossroads. The pedestrian light is red, and so we wait. Standing still only makes us feel the cold and the rain even more.

My son mutters. "Dang, I wish it would stop raining." I grin. "True, it's been doing that all day now, the plants have more than enough water. I'll work on it." Then my girl lets out a deep sigh. "This light takes forever to get green. Can't you make it go green?" Her trust in my capacities knows almost no boundaries, but I hear her thinking I won't be able to do it. "Of course I can make it go green." She laughs. "Yeah right, mom". I smile. "Watch." I take a deep breath, narrowing my eyes for a moment, focusing. Then I count, slowly, steadily, out loud and in a voice that displays an absolute belief in my power to do this. "Three.. two.. one.. GREEN!". The very second I say "green" the light turns green.

She gasps. "ohmyGod.. mom! You can really do it! How.. how on earth.." I just smile and lead them across the crossroads but she won't drop the subject. "Tell me!". "Are you sure you want to know? It's really very simple. We pass this point every day. I have watched and learned. So, I knew there are exactly four seconds between the lights on the other side turning red, and our light turning green. All I did was wait until I saw the light over there turn red and count down. Everything else you saw was a distraction."

She giggles. "Oww.. and I really believed you used magick there. You trickster!" We both laugh. Then my son, who has remained silent through it all, speaks. "But it has stopped raining." A wide grin as I cuddle him. "Oh! Yes it has, hasn't it!".

Stray

I know he is there when I hear him, screaming in our front yard late at night. The sound is not that of a cat at all, somewhere in between the howling of a wolf and the crying of a child. But he is a cat, just a very big, very scared, and very hungry one. I suspect what's driving him out of his hideaway, probably somewhere in the woods surrounding this place, is pure desperation. Hunger, making him overcome his fear. His looks indicate he has been out there for a long time. He has the size of a small dog, thick, rough striped fur and his head is as wide as the rest of his body, making him look like a smaller version of a lynx. We have named him Stray.

It is midnight and freezing cold as I step outside, holding a bowl of catfood. The instant he sees me he dashes to the other side of the front yard, watching me from there, big yellow eyes flickering in the dark. My own cats are outside as well, clearly not happy with the presence of the intruder, hissing at him. He moves even further away, hiding under a car in the street. I shake the bowl and he perks up as the familiar sound of food reaches his ears, and very slowly, belly pressed against the ground, he comes closer again. I crouch, making myself as small as possible. The arm with the bowl stretched out towards him, softly calling him, using my other arm to keep my own cats at a distance. "No" in a firm voice if they come too close, and finally they give up trying and stay several metres behind me, leering.

Suddenly, he's there. Taking a mouthful of food from the bowl and immediately backing off again, swallowing hungrily, hardly taking time to chew. I put the bowl down and he approaches, and for a minute or two I find myself sitting right next to this magnificent creature, crouching with my arms around my knees, not making a move. I watch him eat, while he divides his attention between eating and keeping an eye on me and my cats, hissing at them occasionally. I wonder what he's thinking. Most likely, all he really cares about is the food. Still, behind all the agression I see a nice animal, just very scared, and hardened by the life he is forced to live.

I wonder if he can be tamed. Very slowly, I outstretch an arm towards him, hand open, palm up, showing him clearly there's nothing there to harm him. His eyes narrow but he continues gobbling down the catfood and I leave my hand there, ony a few inches away from him, inviting him to come closer and be petted. He strikes faster than lightning. His front paw lashing out at my hand, long sharp claws bare, breaking my skin. Too late to withdraw, all I can do is move with him and so I move my hand down so his claw doesn't dig as deeply into my flesh as it could have.

I don't make a sound. He is at the other end of the garden again, watching me. Looking straight at him, our eyes meet. With his stomach full and at a safe distance, every bit of fear has vanished from him. Almost majestic he is sitting straight up, yellow eyes flashing. I grin. Foolish girl, whatever made you think he could be tamed and turned into a domestic cat. He may not have chosen the life he is living, but it is where he belongs. And you may feed him, from time to time. Don't expect anything in return, apart from being allowed to revel in his beauty and wildness. When I finally get up to go back inside he takes two big leaps and vanishes from sight. Back to the woods. The house is warm and comfy and my bed awaits. But first.. a bandaid.

Rules for living

Although I don't identify as belonging to any sort of religion (I take what I like from multiple spiritual directions and disregard the rest) a major part of me is buddhist. Buddhism as a spiritual path primarily means the exploration and development of ourselves. Its spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, is a man of incredible wisdom, yet he always has remained humble, friendly and down to earth. Whenever my life gets rough and I loose my focus, I always find guidance in the 19 simple rules he once wrote down as a guideline to live by. So here they are. For now I'm just posting them, but I will probably comment on them in further posts. Comments from others of course highly appreciated as well.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go some place you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
--- Rules for living - The Dalai Lama

A new blog

No, I'm not changing blogspots again, I am way too happy simply being me without the hassle of hiding behind a fake identity. But I will be writing for another blog as well. As those of you who know me a little bit may already have gathered, I like the works of Robert Heinlein. And primarily his ideas and thoughts on society, politics, love, jealousy, polyarmory and many other things. So when a friend mentioned he wanted to start a group blog dedicated to discussing Heinlein's ideas I of course wanted to be a part of that. It's just the two of us for now, but maybe over time more people will join in. Anyhow.. here's the link: The Heinlein Blog.

Conversation with my Guardian Angel

I go downstairs to smoke in the room we use for this purpose and I'm not even all that surprised to find her sitting in the best chair in the room, leaning back, and grinning. I can't help but stare at her legs, shaped to perfection, dangling over the edge of the chair. "Don't ever cross them" she told me a hundred times. "It's bad for your chi and besides, there is nothing there to be ashamed of." I sit down in the other chair.

She grins. "So, how's life?". I mumble a "fine" and she gives me that "cut the crap" look. "Okay well it's not fine. I'm about to terminate another online relationship because it's just not working, I have had the kids home sick for a whole week and the house is a mess and I'm so not looking forward to having to clean that up, it makes me feel like Tantalus carrying water up the hill in a leaking basket and never ever getting to the top because way before he reaches it, the water has all leaked out."
She laughs out loud, this perfect laugh of hers, enhanced by the acoustics of this room that was built for music by the previous owner, a professional violin player.

"Feeling sorry for ourselves, are we". I pout and state I have every reason to. In a split second her face goes from laughter to anger. "No, you don't." I know better than to argue with her, so instead I try to relax in my chair and take the beating that I know is coming. She just looks at me and lights a cigarette, slowly blowing out the smoke in perfect circles. Clearly enjoying it she grins at me. "You should stop smoking, you know that. It's bad for your health and you're a long way from reaching the level where it can't harm you. Too bad really.. these are good." I tell her she's a mean sadist bitch and she smiles. "I know. It's why you love me so much."

She inhales deeply, then looks me straight into the eye. "You are here, because you chose to be here. If this isn't where you want to be, then I suggest you pack your bags, catch a train and go to wherever it is you do want to be. But you won't, because this is who you are, and it's all good. You may think you have a right to feel sorry for yourself but really, that is a totally useless emotion. Learn the lessons, and move on." I sigh and nod. "That is a very easy thing to say, from your point of view. But tell me this. Why is it that more often than not, I end up being neglected by people I care about. Taken for granted, kept waiting, put at the bottom of the priority list? Am I so unsignificant, so not interesting to spend time with?" She laughs. I hate it when she laughs at moments like this. "You are the common denominator in all your failed relationships, dear. And to answer your question as to why? Simply, because you let them."

I shake my head. "No, no, no, NO! You're oversimplifying things again. That isn't how it works. All I need, is a little commitment. Communications. I can take "I won't be here for the next couple of days, because I'm busy elsewhere." I can't take being kept waiting for days in a row without having a clue about why the other person is not around. At least, not when the same person tells me over and over again how much they love me and how important I am to them. I also deal badly with false promises. Doing a no show after telling me they would surely spend time with me that day. Just how friggin' hard is it to at least leave me a "sorry can't make it" message?" I'm fuming. Pure anger, combined with sadness, and it brings tears to my eyes.

For once she doesn't laugh. "Remember the first rule of magic? People are stupid. And what was the first thing you learned when you set out on your path as a warrior? Plug energy leaks. Why do you wait? I'm sure there's tons of useful things you could be doing instead of waiting around for people who, for whatever reason, aren't there when they said they would. Life is a solo challenge. Live it. Enjoy it to the max, and if people want to walk with you that's great, but if not, that should not slow you down. The big mistake you're making over and over again is you depend on other people for your personal happiness. Partly because you feel the need to make them happy too, and partly because even though you have this mighty pair of wings.. you're still afraid to fly. You only do it when you're at the edge of the rock and have no other option left, and by then you have already wasted tons of time and energy on the wrong things."

I growl at her and she blows me a kiss. "More people than you realize care about you a great deal. They will stay with you in one way or another, no matter what you do and where you go. Those are the people that matter. Just be you, and do your things, and everything else will fall into place. Now go clean that house, and your life."

I turn to her. She is gone. I shake my head and laugh, my laughter enhanced by the acoustics of this room that was once built for music. I hear her in there, or do I hear me? There is no difference.

The end?

Linden Labs has been talking about in in their blog for a while now, but today they officially announced that identity verification is coming to Secondlife.

The purpose of all this would be the fact that minors need to be protected from accessing adult content, like strip clubs, free sex places etc. And of course, lots of people are majorly upset about this new development. I could list the pro's and cons here but frankly, that's been done already on the multiple SecondLife forums by countless people.

What I don't understand are basically two things. Why is it, that these days people are extremely sensitive to anything involving minors watching sex? And what the heck happened to the parents' responsibility here?

Let me elaborate. Sex is a normal, healthy activity amongst adults. Healthy kids will start being interested in it during their puberty. Before that, they'll generally not even want to see it. I still remember how my friend and me would lend books from the library showing pictures of genitals and explaining everything there was to know about sex. We would secretly watch her big brother's porn tapes if no one was home. We were around 14, at the time. We wanted to know, it was a hot topic amongst us teenagers. And I don't see anything wrong with that. Especially if you take into account the fact that graphic violence apparently is okay for kids to watch. Numerous news sites show images and movies of war, destruction, disasters, accidents.. but no one is screaming about how viewing that type of content is bad for kids.

And the parents? Isn't it their responsibility to make sure kids don't play games that aren't meant for them? And shouldn't they be the ones educating kids about sex so the kids don't feel the need to seek that on SecondLife?

Whatever happened to common sense, and taking responsibility instead of throwing law suits?

Oh well. The sad thing is it doesn't surprise me. So< I made another cartoon style picture. Enjoy.

Thank you