The end?

Linden Labs has been talking about in in their blog for a while now, but today they officially announced that identity verification is coming to Secondlife.

The purpose of all this would be the fact that minors need to be protected from accessing adult content, like strip clubs, free sex places etc. And of course, lots of people are majorly upset about this new development. I could list the pro's and cons here but frankly, that's been done already on the multiple SecondLife forums by countless people.

What I don't understand are basically two things. Why is it, that these days people are extremely sensitive to anything involving minors watching sex? And what the heck happened to the parents' responsibility here?

Let me elaborate. Sex is a normal, healthy activity amongst adults. Healthy kids will start being interested in it during their puberty. Before that, they'll generally not even want to see it. I still remember how my friend and me would lend books from the library showing pictures of genitals and explaining everything there was to know about sex. We would secretly watch her big brother's porn tapes if no one was home. We were around 14, at the time. We wanted to know, it was a hot topic amongst us teenagers. And I don't see anything wrong with that. Especially if you take into account the fact that graphic violence apparently is okay for kids to watch. Numerous news sites show images and movies of war, destruction, disasters, accidents.. but no one is screaming about how viewing that type of content is bad for kids.

And the parents? Isn't it their responsibility to make sure kids don't play games that aren't meant for them? And shouldn't they be the ones educating kids about sex so the kids don't feel the need to seek that on SecondLife?

Whatever happened to common sense, and taking responsibility instead of throwing law suits?

Oh well. The sad thing is it doesn't surprise me. So< I made another cartoon style picture. Enjoy.

Thank you

Oma

"Oma" is Dutch. It means grandmother, but in a very loving, affectionate way. My oma was a very special person. I was 2 years old when my mother left my dad and me. My dad moved back in with his parents, and so it was oma who raised me until I was 5 and my dad remarried. My stepmom and me never got along. I can't count the times oma phoned me to check on me, heard in my voice things at home had turned sour again, and she would get in her ancient red DAF, drive the hour from her house to ours, and as soon as we let her in she would tell me; "You, go get your stuff. I'll talk to your mom." And she would take me with her for a weekend, or longer if I had vacation, and I would get a chance to be away from the stress of living with a stepmother who wasn't ready to have kids and who had no idea how to deal with a highly intelligent (and spoilt rotten) kid outsmarting her in every possible way.. this resulting in her becoming violent.

Oma was an iron lady with a heart. She became a widow at a fairly young age when my grandfather died of cancer. She ruled the family, not always in a pleasant way because she could be very demanding, but she was the one that kept us at least somewhat together when we all became older and each went their own way. Oma's birthday was the one day per year all of us got together. All my uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews.. even my brothers and sisters and my father and his wife.. I usually only saw them on oma's birthday. At one point in life I lived only 10 minutes away from oma, and especially during that period I saw her a lot. It was great to be with her, sitting in her huge garden drinking tea, discussing all sorts of things. Her usual comment to my life and my lifestyle was; "well I don't understand much of all those wild things, child.. but I can see you are happy and that is all that matters." When I told her I was divorcing my kids' dad, her response was "Finally! I was wondering how long it would take you to discover he's no good".

Oma was extremely healthy up to a very high age. I still remember phoning her one afternoon, and it took a while before she answered. She must have been in her early eighties, then. When she did answer the phone I apologized and said I didn't mean to wake her from her nap. She almost exploded. "Nap? NAP?? Naps are for old people. I had to climb down the ladder because I was fixing the roof!".

Her biggest fear was to become old, and helpless. She signed several papers stating that if she would become "a vegetable", or totally demented, or too sick to ever recover, she wanted her life to end. She showed me, and probably everybody else as well, those papers. Urged me to help actively end her life, if it ever got to that point. I told her then I wasn't sure I could do that, and she gave me her usual "pfft, of course you can".

At around the age of 90, she did become that old, that demented, and that sick. She was hospitalized and grew weaker and weaker. She didn't recognize anyone anymore. But the doctors would not help her die. Because she wasn't capable of actively stating that was what she wanted, at that point. The papers she signed when she was still very much there, mentally, weren't enough. She slid further and further down, her body weakening, her once so strong mind gone. I haven't seen her during that period. I couldn't bring myself to visiting her. I wanted to remember her the way I knew her: strong, healthy, independent, opinionated. And I knew that, in spite of what she had told me to do if it got to this point, I wouldn't be able to end her life. I could say I couldn't do it because it would surely mean I would end up in jail, since under our laws it would have been murder, and that I didn't want my family to go through that. But I very much doubt I would have been able to do it, even if I had been single. I suppose that makes me a coward.

Why am I sharing all this? Because she died yesterday, at the age of 92. And even though I am tremendously sad, I am also majorly relieved her battle has finally ended.

Oma.. I haven't visited you alot in the past years, and I'm sorry for that. I also know you understand the reasons, and that it had nothing to do with not loving you. You were the closest thing to a mother I have ever had. I will miss you, an awful lot. I know one day we will be together again. Thank you, for everything you did for me, everything you taught me, and for every time you accepted me for who I am without judging, no matter what stupid things I was doing. Rest in peace, you have earned it.

Clicky bits

As I have mentioned before, I play SecondLife, an online virtual world. One of the things you can do there is.. to have sex. Or rather, watch your avatar and that of your partner have sex. In order to make this experience more realistic, it is possible to buy genitals for your avatar which, when clicked, will pop up a menu letting the clicker choose an action, after which the genitals will respond accordingly by saying something in open chat, in green, to distinguish from the normal chat which is shown in white. So, it will look something like "Frank's Penis whispers: "Ooooh yes baby, I so love it when you do that".

Fun? Well frankly.. whispering genitals freak me out. There is something utterly non erotic about them announcing their being "ready for action" then describing every next step in detail in open chat. Preferably in a public place, so all present get their share of the ultimate joy the wearer is experiencing.

Up to a certain level I can understand scripted bits. I mean, male parts in real life have different states of being, so scripting them in SL for a realistic look according to the mood does make sense to me. But the constant, annoying whispering.. *shudders*.

Granted, they are a fine piece of scripting and fairly well sculpted as far as they are visible but thats all. The built in cyber annoys me to no end. It's bad, and even if you go through the trouble of altering the script and writing the lines for your own genitals, it's still dull and soporific. Sex online already lacks the presence of a warm body to hold and the smell, sound and taste of actual sex. Is it really necessary to also remove the only thing that does remain: creativity and stimulating the mind? Do we really like making out with a preprogrammed virtual version of a rubber doll?

And then of course there is the fact you have to click them to get to the next line in the script. Try that in a laggy environment. Or even in a non laggy environment, but using animation balls. Many positions make it almost impossible to click the correct bits. Try clicking his manhood while having sex with him and find the huge invisible ball that is your own clit majorly gets in the way. This probably is the reason why Xcite, the main vendor of genitals in Secondlife, sells all kinds of scripted body parts. Can't get to his tender bits? Oh well, grab a nipple or pinch an ass. Oh and if you click the ass, don't forget to use the "inserts something warm and hard" option. That one at least leaves room for imagination, although with my twisted mind all the "warm and hard" things that come to mind make me giggle.

And then of course, there is the crescendo of it all. Orgasm! Sending female avatars into facial spasms that in real life would make me run to the phone and call an ambulance, and causing male avatars to create a fountain of sperm the average horse would be jealous of. Ladies, don't forget to try this while being on top of your male partner. There is something extremely hilarious about watching that fountain spring from your own spine. Ohyessss baby, shoot straight through me.

People have tried to convince me the good part about using the clicky bits is the fact you don't have to do as much typing so you have your hands free to do.. well.. other things. This may be true, but if that is the goal.. wouldn't it make much more sense to watch a porn video? Much more realistic and no interruptions from having to click things. Nooooo, say the clicky bits fans, that's no good, because it lacks the interaction. Well excuse me but.. what interaction? The one with the script in the other persons bits? The having to pick an action from the blue pop up menu and the excitement of never knowing which of the very few options the other person will pick next from that same menu? Oh wow *yawn*.

I prefer good, creative cyber over clicky bits any day of the week. Excite my mind and my body will follow. If you can't do that.. don't bother.

Joy

A scream from the bathroom. "MOM!! I am having my period!" I smile big as she comes running out, straight into my arms. I catch her and hold her close. "Congratulations, I already suspected that would be the reason for your belly aches these past few days. Now remember what I told you about all this, it's nothing to worry out, just a sign you're becoming a woman. Your belly is now officially ready to have babies." She looks up at me and lets out a heartfelt "eeeewww!!" and we both laugh, remembering our last conversation about sex which she ended by going "Mom.. they use that thing to pee with. Why would I want that inside me??"

Twelve years old, entering the next stage of her development. It brings back a ton of memories in me. From the very first time I had my period (I was almost 17, and worried sick I would never become a woman) but also the difficult circumstances under which she was born. The emergency caesarian after only 7 months of pregnancy which brought her into this world, leaving both her and me fighting for our life but winning the battle, against all odds. The surgeon, asking me if I had a name for the baby and me, half conscious, instantly thinking of a name: "If she survives, there is only one name to properly express what I feel.. her name will be Joy". The doctors at the IC for premature babies being majorly concerned and telling us they had no idea what would become of her, but that the chances of her being severely handicapped were large. Her biological father who at that point seriously considered the option of taking her off all the equipment keeping her alive, and letting her die. And me, literally standing in between her and him, speaking the three words I hardly ever use, but if I do it is very obvious I mean business: "No.. fucking.. way." Followed by a much friendlier, but just as certain: "She'll be fine."

And she is fine. Yes, she has PDD-NOS, a form of autism. She is not the average kid and there are many things she'll never be able to do like a "normal" kid. But she is a beautiful, warm, incredibly creative child, who makes the most amazing art and videos on her computer, can sing very well, and has an outlook on life that is simply fascinating to listen to. She works with energies like a fully trained shaman, and all in all she is simply wonderful. I'll be the first to admit she can be extremely tiring as well, needing lots of attention and sucking tons of energy but even though at times I feel drained, I wouldn't trade her for anything. She is, and always will be, my pride and Joy.

I.. have.. the power!

Remember the line I used as the title for this entry? It comes from "He-man, Masters of the Universe". He-Man, the hero of the cartoon, would hold his sword up into the air, shout that line, and the power would run down into the sword straight from the heavens.

I see a similar thing happening online a lot. In SecondLife, the online virtual world I am a part of, there are many self proclaimed rulers. They buy or rent a piece of land, build something on it, declare themselves king, queen or whatever title they assume, and other people will use the facilities thus created and treat the person in charge as if they were indeed a king, queen or the like. And there is nothing wrong with that. Roleplaying can be a great pastime, as long as all involved realize that is what it is: assuming, and playing a *role*.

The trouble begins when self proclaimed rulers aren't really fit to rule. Chances of this happening are large. The fact alone that somebody feels the need to be an online king, says a lot about this person. Well balanced, strong, capable leaders usually have already achieved a leading role in their offline life. They don't need another leading role in an online world, in fact they are glad to just relax online. They also usually don't have the time to be online as often as is required to run a virtual kingdom, fantasy world or city.

More often than not, drama will sooner or later hit the fan in online kingdoms and the like. Occasionally when that happens the people in charge turn out to be good leaders and solve the problems, everybody learns their lesson, and virtual life goes on as usual.
But that is the exception, not the rule. The rule is the insecure, way too emotionally involved self proclaimed rulers will see whatever happens as a personal attack and lash out in anger or sadness. Phase two consists of part of their followers leaving, and another part trying to patch things up. And after that the fate of the online kingdom depends on how fast the ruler is able to bring back balance, primarily within themselves.

Good, well managed online kingdoms will survive most storms. People will come and go, but as long as the concept is solid, the course is clear and the ruler rules without acting like a drama queen (pun intended), there will always be a core group of people who enjoy spending their online time there. But it does take a strong back to carry an online world. If you can't take the heat.. stay out of the Royal kitchen.

What have we done?

"What have we done to this earth?" is how the lyrics of Michael Jackson's "Earth Song" start. I just watched this video on Youtube and it brought tears to my eyes, as well as made me physically sick. I know, nothing new there, and we've been basically destroying the planet and everything good and pure on it from the moment we've been around, still.. ouch.

Just watch that, and tell me you managed to do so without feeling anything. I for one couldn't keep my eyes dry, and apart from invoking tremendous sadness it angers me to no end that we are letting all this happen.

Live Earth on July 7 will be another attempt at raising global awareness, just like Live Aid was, and this time it's about global warming and what we all can do to fight it. See the website for more info. I just hope we will eventually all wake up and stop being the most destructive species this planet has ever known. One can hope, right?