The newest member of our family (or is it: zoo?) is now 3.5 months old. Our black labrador Shadow has grown immensely during this time, and went from a tiny puppy to an already pretty big dog. I spoke to him earlier today and let him evaluate the time he has spent with us so far. Hey, all the big companies are doing it, so why not us.This is the feedback I got from him.
Let me start by saying that overall, I like my new job a lot. The humans here are friendly and for the most part seem adequate at what they do. They just seem a bit touchy at times. I felt particularly welcomed by the felines that seem to be everywhere in this house. Whenever I approached one they immediately took me jogging around the living room, the workout usually ending in them jumping on top of something. They probably don't realize I can't jump that high and follow them there, but it was a nice gesture nevertheless. I did have to get used to their way of greeting me. They outstretch their front paw and lash out at my nose. it hurts a bit, but I suppose it is their way of saying hello. I try to avoid it when I can but since they're so helpful when it comes to helping me exercise, it is something I have learnt to live with.
The humans have provided me with lots of useful things, such as food bowls and tons of toys that are scattered around the house. For some reason they don't like me gnawing on the toys they sometimes put on their feet and they get particularly nasty when I take things with buttons on them or when I gnaw on stuff from the desks they are often sitting on. The small humans also get upset a lot when I take things from the big toybox in the living room and play with them, my way. I can't help the fact my teeth need lots of things to gnaw on, and they can't expect me to know the difference between what they want me to gnaw on and what they don't want me to gnaw on. If it's within reach, I'll rip it to shreds. I'm a dog, it's what I do.
Another thing that is not going all that well yet is my disposing of bodily waste. I mean, if I gotta go, I gotta go, you know. Sometimes it happens before even I realize it. At other times, I try to attract their attention but somehow they fail to see it, and then they get angry when it ends up on the floor. I think they prefer me to do it outside, when they take me there. Why is beyond me, I know for sure they themselves never do it outside. My nose works just fine, I know what they do behind that closed door in the tiny room with the huge bowl in it. I guess it is because I am the newcomer. Maybe in due time I will graduate to the level where I get to do it in the tiny room, too.
I have learned lots of useful things here. Let me end this evaluation by sharing a few of them with you:
- Examining the vacuumcleaner by sticking your nose into the end of the hose while the thing is on, is a bad plan.
- Grabbing your stone water bowl and dragging it over the wooden floor is a guaranteed way to draw attention to the fact you'd like to have it refilled.
- It is a scientific fact that growing means things you used to be able to run under/hide in/walk through when you were a tiny puppy get smaller over time, to the point where you get totally stuck in them.
-Cats are great fun to chase. They are a lot less fun to chase when there is more than one cat in the room. They tend to team up on you.While you are busy chasing the first one, the second one will appear out of nowhere and go directly for your nose.
And last, but certainly not least:
- Big puppy eyes and a soft whimper have no effect on big male humans busy cleaning your poo off their feet at 6:30 in the morning.
maandag 26 mei 2008
donderdag 24 april 2008
The L word
I would like to talk to you about the L word. No, not the TV series, nor lesbians. I mean Love, and more specifically: love related to online connections. Is it even possible to love somebody you only know from online? Can you connect to someone at that level without ever having looked them into the eye, without ever having held them in your arms? And for those of us into D/s: Is it possible to truly submit, or dominate, online?
My personal experience is that yes, I can, deeply and profoundly. But after giving my heart and having it handed back to me on a platter multiple times, I have also learned to guard my heart like a fortress. To me, the whole online world, and specifically SecondLife as that is where I can usually be found when online, is an integrated part of my life. It is a way to get in touch with people I would otherwise never meet. I am very much the same me, here and there, because I do not separate them. I realize that is rare. Most people I meet on SL see the "two lifes" as completely separate. Many profiles state that "RL is RL and SL is SL and let's keep it that way" or similar things. For me, that doesn't work. My feelings are real, I am incapable of "playing" emotions. Which I guess makes me vulnerable, because lots of people are quite capable of doing so.
Another thing I have noticed is that people do an awful lot of projecting, when on SL. They meet a beautiful avatar, fall in love, and in their mind this person becomes everything they have always dreamed of. They forget the person behind the avatar is very much human, probably not as stunningly beautiful as their avatar, and imperfect like all humans are. I have had that happen to me, repeatedly. And I have had to deal with the disappointment, even anger, from people when they finally realized I wasn't this dream woman they had turned me into in their mind.
And so, here's the deal. If you want to be a part of my life, you are more than welcome. If you want to conquer my heart, feel free to try. But know this. I am not here to play someone I am not. I will not let myself be turned into your fantasy, nor will I allow you to make me the center of your universe.. you will not be the center of mine, either. I already have a complete and quite fulfilling life, and my family is and always will be first on my priority list. I am polyarmorous by nature, and so the fact I love you does not mean I don't love anyone else, and it certainly doesn't mean I don't love my husband and am looking for an online substitute. If all this is a level of reality you cannot handle, then you and I won't get along well.
Still reading? Excellent, let's play. Or.. not play, rather. Let's be.
My personal experience is that yes, I can, deeply and profoundly. But after giving my heart and having it handed back to me on a platter multiple times, I have also learned to guard my heart like a fortress. To me, the whole online world, and specifically SecondLife as that is where I can usually be found when online, is an integrated part of my life. It is a way to get in touch with people I would otherwise never meet. I am very much the same me, here and there, because I do not separate them. I realize that is rare. Most people I meet on SL see the "two lifes" as completely separate. Many profiles state that "RL is RL and SL is SL and let's keep it that way" or similar things. For me, that doesn't work. My feelings are real, I am incapable of "playing" emotions. Which I guess makes me vulnerable, because lots of people are quite capable of doing so.
Another thing I have noticed is that people do an awful lot of projecting, when on SL. They meet a beautiful avatar, fall in love, and in their mind this person becomes everything they have always dreamed of. They forget the person behind the avatar is very much human, probably not as stunningly beautiful as their avatar, and imperfect like all humans are. I have had that happen to me, repeatedly. And I have had to deal with the disappointment, even anger, from people when they finally realized I wasn't this dream woman they had turned me into in their mind.
And so, here's the deal. If you want to be a part of my life, you are more than welcome. If you want to conquer my heart, feel free to try. But know this. I am not here to play someone I am not. I will not let myself be turned into your fantasy, nor will I allow you to make me the center of your universe.. you will not be the center of mine, either. I already have a complete and quite fulfilling life, and my family is and always will be first on my priority list. I am polyarmorous by nature, and so the fact I love you does not mean I don't love anyone else, and it certainly doesn't mean I don't love my husband and am looking for an online substitute. If all this is a level of reality you cannot handle, then you and I won't get along well.
Still reading? Excellent, let's play. Or.. not play, rather. Let's be.
dinsdag 15 april 2008
Universal Chess
What is my role, my lady? said the bishop to the queen
I cannot fight this battle along strategies unseen
The lady smiled and told him this: You.. you are here for me
And you need doing nothing else than this one thing: just be
You are right where you need to be so worry not, my friend
This war is really just a game and like all games it ends
Stand by my side, I need you here, with all your special traits
When in the end the game turns war, the evil horde invades
and wants my blood against all cost.. but then there will be you
and trust me darling, by that time you'll know just what to do
I cannot fight this battle along strategies unseen
The lady smiled and told him this: You.. you are here for me
And you need doing nothing else than this one thing: just be
You are right where you need to be so worry not, my friend
This war is really just a game and like all games it ends
Stand by my side, I need you here, with all your special traits
When in the end the game turns war, the evil horde invades
and wants my blood against all cost.. but then there will be you
and trust me darling, by that time you'll know just what to do
donderdag 27 maart 2008
Ouch.. redefined
I always thought of myself as a die hard when it comes to pain. I've been through so many things throughout my life that caused tremendous amounts of pain,and I keep amazing doctors and other people because I can take so much and heal so fast. I guess I became a bit arrogant about it, believing there was no pain in the world that could incapacitate me. And then, the Universe decided to teach me a lesson.
Two days ago, I woke up.. and couldn't move. The slightest attempt would cause me unbearable pain in my lower back and thighs, and even without moving it felt as if someone had stuck a knife in between two discs at the bottom of my spine. Struggling and crawling I managed to get out of bed anyhow, and I even managed to get myself up and down the stairs to wake the kids and get them dressed and ready for school. But no way I was ever gonna walk the 30 minutes to school to take them there. Luckily, my Love saw this was serious, and so he drove the kids to school and arranged to be home early enough to pick them up, as well. God I love that man, he so is my rock every time I need one.
While they were all gone I tried to phone our family doctor to make an appointment. The phone was busy constantly and when I finally did get through it was past the time for making an appointment and I got the answering machine. I dragged myself through the morning and, even though I thought that was not possible, the pain got worse. I could not stand, nor sit, nor lie down, nor walk. I took the heaviest painkillers I could find in the house, doubled the dose, and it didn't help a bit. Whatever I did or did not do.. it was pure and utter torture. It brought tears to my eyes and finally I decided to call the physiotherapist who helped me a few years ago when a disc in my neck had slipped causing part of my right hand to go numb. She listened, and she must have heard in my voice that I was in a bad shape, because she scheduled me for an appointment the very next day even though according to her assistant who initially answered the phone she was very busy, and it would probably take a while before she had a spot.
The day passed in a blur of pain and trying to cope, and the night was sleepless apart from a few short naps here and there. Yet, the next morning the pain was less. It was far from gone, but at least it was bearable. Ron took the kids to school again, and at noon when it was time to pick them up, I was brave enough to go there by bike, and I made it. In the afternoon I saw the physiotherapist, who massaged my cramped up muscles and then started pushing my bones back to where they should have been all along. That hurt, a lot, but it was nothing compared to what I had felt the day before.
That was yesterday, and today I am almost without pain as long as I don't make any weird moves, lift heavy things etc. Just a bit stiff. I'll need to go and see the physiotherapist a few more times to work on the last bits of irregularity in my lower back, but for the most part I am fine.
But mannn.. was I wrong in believing I knew it all and was too strong to be brought down by something as silly as pain. I'd rather have both my caesarians and if need be, a root canal treatment on the same day than go through this again. Hell.. lumbago be thy name. I salute you.
Two days ago, I woke up.. and couldn't move. The slightest attempt would cause me unbearable pain in my lower back and thighs, and even without moving it felt as if someone had stuck a knife in between two discs at the bottom of my spine. Struggling and crawling I managed to get out of bed anyhow, and I even managed to get myself up and down the stairs to wake the kids and get them dressed and ready for school. But no way I was ever gonna walk the 30 minutes to school to take them there. Luckily, my Love saw this was serious, and so he drove the kids to school and arranged to be home early enough to pick them up, as well. God I love that man, he so is my rock every time I need one.
While they were all gone I tried to phone our family doctor to make an appointment. The phone was busy constantly and when I finally did get through it was past the time for making an appointment and I got the answering machine. I dragged myself through the morning and, even though I thought that was not possible, the pain got worse. I could not stand, nor sit, nor lie down, nor walk. I took the heaviest painkillers I could find in the house, doubled the dose, and it didn't help a bit. Whatever I did or did not do.. it was pure and utter torture. It brought tears to my eyes and finally I decided to call the physiotherapist who helped me a few years ago when a disc in my neck had slipped causing part of my right hand to go numb. She listened, and she must have heard in my voice that I was in a bad shape, because she scheduled me for an appointment the very next day even though according to her assistant who initially answered the phone she was very busy, and it would probably take a while before she had a spot.
The day passed in a blur of pain and trying to cope, and the night was sleepless apart from a few short naps here and there. Yet, the next morning the pain was less. It was far from gone, but at least it was bearable. Ron took the kids to school again, and at noon when it was time to pick them up, I was brave enough to go there by bike, and I made it. In the afternoon I saw the physiotherapist, who massaged my cramped up muscles and then started pushing my bones back to where they should have been all along. That hurt, a lot, but it was nothing compared to what I had felt the day before.
That was yesterday, and today I am almost without pain as long as I don't make any weird moves, lift heavy things etc. Just a bit stiff. I'll need to go and see the physiotherapist a few more times to work on the last bits of irregularity in my lower back, but for the most part I am fine.
But mannn.. was I wrong in believing I knew it all and was too strong to be brought down by something as silly as pain. I'd rather have both my caesarians and if need be, a root canal treatment on the same day than go through this again. Hell.. lumbago be thy name. I salute you.
woensdag 20 februari 2008
Mothers I'd Like to...
Recently I came across the term MILF. I looked it up because I didn't know what it stands for, then grinned.. Mothers I'd Like to Fuck, or in other words: sexually attractive, older women. Usually aged between 35 and 50. Okay.. so I guess that makes me a MILF. Later that same day I got am IM in SL from a total stranger. It turned out he had done a search on women over 40 and my profile had popped up. He himself was a lot younger but he had this fascination with older women because as he put it: they are much better conversationalists and usually better at flirting, too.
It made me laugh. It also made me think. I can see why older women (and men) can be better conversationalists. They simply have more life experience, have seen and done more than younger people, and the chance they have learned a thing or two about themselves along the way, making them more balanced and self secured, is bigger. Then again I realize that is a broad generalization. I know childish, insecure, stupid people in their fifties, and absolutely wonderful people who know exactly who and what they are in their early twenties. The same thing goes for the sexual aspects of a person. More experience isn't always a guarantee for better. I've come across wonderful, tender and passionate virgin lovers in my lifetime, and alas also a few much older and very experienced ones who had apparently decided on the rabbit approach: hop on, do it like crazy for a minute or two, done, roll off, turn over. Absolutely boring and unsatisfactory to say the least.
I chat a bit with the stranger and then TP him to my place, where I am working on a few new designs. A minute later another friend walks in. We sit and chat for what turns out to be several hours. The young man has studied Zen, the friend is a psychologist. Soon the conversation takes flight and all kinds of subjects get discussed, from social behavior of people in large groups to personal development and what it means to make your own choices in life, from the relativity of things to BDSM in a spiritual context to politics. My mind is spinning, I absolutely love talking to people with well thought out opinions and insights and I love sharing mine.
It makes me realize that is what I miss most, sometimes. Food for thought other than from books and studying. Actual interaction with people. Apart from with my husband and a handful of online friends I don't have deep conversations a lot, simply because my life as a mother of two children, one mentally handicapped and needing almost constant care, leaves me bound to home. I crave the input and the mental sparring I was so used to when I was a career woman, traveling a lot and talking to people from all over the globe.
It is past midnight and I really have to log off, tomorrow being another day of getting up early to take the kids to school. My newly made friend tells me it is now early morning where he is.. he has spent all night talking with us. "And to think I really IMd you just to flirt.. but I'm so glad you actually have something to say!" is his comment. I guess that is what I like to be valued for. Don't get me wrong, I love flirting and cyber sex can be a great pastime. But in the end, connecting with people on the mental level is what I'm really after. And so I would like to introduce a new term.. I'd like to be a MILTT: a "Mother I'd Like to Talk To".
It made me laugh. It also made me think. I can see why older women (and men) can be better conversationalists. They simply have more life experience, have seen and done more than younger people, and the chance they have learned a thing or two about themselves along the way, making them more balanced and self secured, is bigger. Then again I realize that is a broad generalization. I know childish, insecure, stupid people in their fifties, and absolutely wonderful people who know exactly who and what they are in their early twenties. The same thing goes for the sexual aspects of a person. More experience isn't always a guarantee for better. I've come across wonderful, tender and passionate virgin lovers in my lifetime, and alas also a few much older and very experienced ones who had apparently decided on the rabbit approach: hop on, do it like crazy for a minute or two, done, roll off, turn over. Absolutely boring and unsatisfactory to say the least.
I chat a bit with the stranger and then TP him to my place, where I am working on a few new designs. A minute later another friend walks in. We sit and chat for what turns out to be several hours. The young man has studied Zen, the friend is a psychologist. Soon the conversation takes flight and all kinds of subjects get discussed, from social behavior of people in large groups to personal development and what it means to make your own choices in life, from the relativity of things to BDSM in a spiritual context to politics. My mind is spinning, I absolutely love talking to people with well thought out opinions and insights and I love sharing mine.
It makes me realize that is what I miss most, sometimes. Food for thought other than from books and studying. Actual interaction with people. Apart from with my husband and a handful of online friends I don't have deep conversations a lot, simply because my life as a mother of two children, one mentally handicapped and needing almost constant care, leaves me bound to home. I crave the input and the mental sparring I was so used to when I was a career woman, traveling a lot and talking to people from all over the globe.
It is past midnight and I really have to log off, tomorrow being another day of getting up early to take the kids to school. My newly made friend tells me it is now early morning where he is.. he has spent all night talking with us. "And to think I really IMd you just to flirt.. but I'm so glad you actually have something to say!" is his comment. I guess that is what I like to be valued for. Don't get me wrong, I love flirting and cyber sex can be a great pastime. But in the end, connecting with people on the mental level is what I'm really after. And so I would like to introduce a new term.. I'd like to be a MILTT: a "Mother I'd Like to Talk To".
dinsdag 29 januari 2008
Zeitgeist- The Movie
I'm not saying it is THE truth. But it is a movie worth watching, worth thinking about, and in many ways what it has to say is as viable as the common beliefs it is targeting. If it at least makes you think, then that is a good thing. Some may find it shocking, especially the claims that not only 9/11, but also Pearl Harbor, both World Wars and Vietnam were deliberately provoked/inside jobs, meant to better those who really rule this planet... Those holding on to their religious beliefs and refusing to even look at other possibilities, will probably state the first part of it is offending. But, as the slogan to the X-files series used to put it: The truth is out there. And I think we need to at least not close our eyes to various versions of it. Watch, and learn.
Zeitgeist - The Movie
Zeitgeist - The Movie
woensdag 9 januari 2008
Just be
Just a song I stumbled across while browsing music videos. The lyrics really say it all... Just listen
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