Sometimes, when feeling extremely good or extremely bad, I write songs to express myself. Here's one of my songtexts, hope you like.
Watch me fade
Please allow me to explain
how the fact I don't raise hell nor put up fights
doesn't mean you have me indefinitely
You may take me for granted
but watch me
Watch me as I slowly dissolve
all that binds me to you
I have cried too many nights
Waited in vain too often
and I will stop the hurting
just watch me
Watch me fade
as long as you still see me you can reverse the process
but once I'm done
I'm done
Watch me fade
I will do my best to stay a little longer
but once I'm gone
I'm gone
Better know I will refrain
from kicking and screaming.. I don't sink that low
the fact I won't fight doesn't make me weak
I just pick my battles
you watch me
Watch me as the distance grows
can you still see me?
Well maybe it is not too late
Maybe you will learn
to finally appreciate
and watch me
Watch me fade
as long as you still see me you can reverse the process
but once I'm done
I'm done
Watch me fade
I will do my best to stay a little longer
but once I'm gone
I'm gone
Watch me fade
This one too will make me stronger
Now that I'm done
I'm gone
maandag 11 juni 2007
donderdag 7 juni 2007
Second Crack
I play SecondLife and have been doing that for a while now. I like it, when it's working. Recently though, it's been down, bugged, slow, laggy and whatever a lot. It has greatly diminished my enjoying this virtual world, on the other hand I'm way too addicted to it to quit.
And so I sit, grind my teeth as my client crashes once more, my objects won't appear in game, teleporting anywhere fails and and and.. you get the point. Luckily, there is the blog, the one place where Linden Labs (the guys responsible for keeping the whole thing running, using paperclips and rubber bands if you ask me) somewhat communicate with their user base. Today it told us:
[UPDATE 11:51 PM] It turns out fixing search is going to take more than initially thought, it will probably be down for most of the night. We apologize for the inconvenience and will have a team of crack Operations people patching it up in the morning.
Oh wow. Crack operations people. Not just operations people but.... crack operations people. I wonder if that is what they're on and what makes them ignore our questions, requests for help, and general feeling of being unhappy with the game. But that's not the point. I sat and wondered about who these people were for a while, then Don came online. And he had the answer. This crack team has been filmed.
So, here they are, Linden Labs one and only.. Crack Operations Team.
And so I sit, grind my teeth as my client crashes once more, my objects won't appear in game, teleporting anywhere fails and and and.. you get the point. Luckily, there is the blog, the one place where Linden Labs (the guys responsible for keeping the whole thing running, using paperclips and rubber bands if you ask me) somewhat communicate with their user base. Today it told us:
[UPDATE 11:51 PM] It turns out fixing search is going to take more than initially thought, it will probably be down for most of the night. We apologize for the inconvenience and will have a team of crack Operations people patching it up in the morning.
Oh wow. Crack operations people. Not just operations people but.... crack operations people. I wonder if that is what they're on and what makes them ignore our questions, requests for help, and general feeling of being unhappy with the game. But that's not the point. I sat and wondered about who these people were for a while, then Don came online. And he had the answer. This crack team has been filmed.
So, here they are, Linden Labs one and only.. Crack Operations Team.
woensdag 6 juni 2007
Status Drama
Lately, I've stumbled upon a strange phenomenon I just can't seem to get my head around. What is it that makes people decide their Yahoo/MSN/Gtalk/whatever messenger service status indicator is THE place to show the world how bad they feel?
I mean.. I use status indicators, like "Fetching kids & groceries, brb" or "not at my desk" or "cleaning house, please disturb". I do that so my friends know what I'm up to and to give a rough indication of when I'll be back. But why on earth would anyone feel like having "Hurting, please leave me alone" as their status? Or "Pissed, go away" or "Friendship is an illusion" combined with a busy icon. I don't get it.
If you feel that bad, why log onto a Messenger service at all? And if you do, why mention your state of mind in your status almost screaming your pain at the world, but at the same time saying you want to be left alone?
What's really at work here is reversed psychology if you ask me. What those messages really say is: "I do want you to message me, very carefully, ask me how I am and I will at first act a bit reserved, then whine for an hour, then tell you I really don't want to speak with anyone. And you'll feel double lousy, once because you did message me even though I told you not to, and again because my life is so terrible right now". Drama queenism, to the max. And I for one am not gonna fall for it.
Feel lousy, wanna talk? Then talk. I can deal just fine with a "Feeling like shit here, I so need a hug" message. You'll get that hug, instantly. But the drama queens resorting to status indicator guerilla tactics I will fully and bluntly ignore. Unless they do it too often, then I will remove them from my list.
I mean.. I use status indicators, like "Fetching kids & groceries, brb" or "not at my desk" or "cleaning house, please disturb". I do that so my friends know what I'm up to and to give a rough indication of when I'll be back. But why on earth would anyone feel like having "Hurting, please leave me alone" as their status? Or "Pissed, go away" or "Friendship is an illusion" combined with a busy icon. I don't get it.
If you feel that bad, why log onto a Messenger service at all? And if you do, why mention your state of mind in your status almost screaming your pain at the world, but at the same time saying you want to be left alone?
What's really at work here is reversed psychology if you ask me. What those messages really say is: "I do want you to message me, very carefully, ask me how I am and I will at first act a bit reserved, then whine for an hour, then tell you I really don't want to speak with anyone. And you'll feel double lousy, once because you did message me even though I told you not to, and again because my life is so terrible right now". Drama queenism, to the max. And I for one am not gonna fall for it.
Feel lousy, wanna talk? Then talk. I can deal just fine with a "Feeling like shit here, I so need a hug" message. You'll get that hug, instantly. But the drama queens resorting to status indicator guerilla tactics I will fully and bluntly ignore. Unless they do it too often, then I will remove them from my list.
zaterdag 2 juni 2007
Yet another personality test
I have this thing for personality tests. I love taking them, just to see if the outcome is something I recognize myself in. This time, I took the one at similarminds.com. Here are the results, just for shits & giggles.
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
dinsdag 29 mei 2007
Bladders of Gor
A short piece I wrote as a parody on the Gor Novels by John Norman, from which countless people use quotes in their profiles, on websites etc. I actually think he's a lousy writer, and the way his followers have made what was meant to be a series of science fiction novels into a cult is scary to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for D/s and even consentual slavery, but please, don't take yourself too seriously. Anyway.. enjoy ;)
He looked her over, a knowing smile on his face. She wiggled a bit, moving her weight from one leg onto the other, looking up into His eyes for a moment, hers almost begging.... then lowering them once more. Her hand slowly slid along her belly, lower, until it reached the inside of her thigh and then that familiar spot. She rubbed without even realizing she was doing it, her movements faster now, squirming almost as if she were dancing, her rosy skin moist. He smiled big. "well now, is it the fire in your belly causing you to want nothing more, than to please me, girl?" She bit her lower lip, silence, then a soft whisper. "No Master but.. a girl would so love to know where Your bathroom is".
Bladders of Gor, page 257
He looked her over, a knowing smile on his face. She wiggled a bit, moving her weight from one leg onto the other, looking up into His eyes for a moment, hers almost begging.... then lowering them once more. Her hand slowly slid along her belly, lower, until it reached the inside of her thigh and then that familiar spot. She rubbed without even realizing she was doing it, her movements faster now, squirming almost as if she were dancing, her rosy skin moist. He smiled big. "well now, is it the fire in your belly causing you to want nothing more, than to please me, girl?" She bit her lower lip, silence, then a soft whisper. "No Master but.. a girl would so love to know where Your bathroom is".
Bladders of Gor, page 257
maandag 28 mei 2007
Favourite Quotes
Here's a bunch of my favourite quotes. I like them for various reasons and collected them over time. They tell you a lot about my outlook on life. So here goes, another shred of my soul... as written by others far more eloquent than myself.
"Impossible is a word humans use too often."
--- Seven of Nine in StarTrek Voyager
"Nils Illigitimus Carborundurum" (never let the bastards grind you down)
Aussie Latin proverb
"To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--- Sun Tzu in "The art of War"
"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, His pleasure, His Desires, His life, His work, His sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I dont mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh God, as a woman i want to be Dominated. I dont mind being told to stand on my own two feet, not to cling to all that i am capable of doing but I am pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at His time, His Bidding......"
--- Anais Nin
"Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to say that you are then you're probably not"
--- M. Thatcher.
"Dream as if you'll live forever... live as if you'll die today."
--- James Dean
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go some place you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
--- Rules for living - The Dalai Lama
"Those who practice and promote Political Correctness are doing a service to society,
as I need to know who to shoot when we take over."
--- Borgia
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
--- William James
"Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."
Anonymous Dragon
"Truth gains more even by the errors of one who, with due study and preparation, thinks for himself, than by the true opinions of those who only hold them because they do not suffer themselves to think."
--- John Stuart Mills, On Liberty
"Let me test my mettle against your ambition... let me be the wall you drive into, I will be the one who will weather the storm, not because I love you, but because I can, and for that you will love me.
I am no hero and I am certainly not a martyr... I crave the challenge, it validates my own identity as a power house."
--- Anonymous
"He who is not busy being born is busy dying"
--- Bob Dylan
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
--- Marcus Aurelius
"Wisdom without kindness and knowledge without sobriety are useless."
--- The Fire from within, Carlos Castaneda
"Tunnel vision should never be confused with having a view."
--- Anonymous
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
--- H.L. Mencken
"I will always be honest with you...and you will either love me or hate me. But at least if you hate me, it will be for who I truly am, not for who I pretend to be."
--- Anonymous
"The most severe disability a person could possibly have can not be seen
on the physical body or heard by the physical ear... But it comes from within...
The most severe disability a person could possibly have is a
negative attitude, because you are saying, it's not possible, it's not true,
but worst of all, you're saying, you can't."
--- Anonymous
"There are two kinds of strengths:
the strength to lead,
and the strength to follow;
the strength to control,
and the strength to yield.
There are two kinds of power:
the power to strip another's soul bare,
and the power to stand naked."
--- Gurumayi Chidvilasananda
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
--- Theodore Roosevelt
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."
--- Confucius
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
--- Bill Cosby
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
--- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
--- John Lennon
"People will always talk about you, especially when they envy you and the life you live. Let them... you affected their lives, they didn't affect yours."
--- Anonymous
"Destiny is not a matter of chance; it's a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved."
--- William Jennings Bryan
"I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying."
--- Michael Jordan
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
--- Margaret Mead
"Man does not cease to play because he grows old, he grows old because he ceases to play."
--- Drew Lachey
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former."
--- Albert Einstein
"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."
--- Anonymous
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
--- Dr. Suess
"Excellence can be achieved if you . . . risk more than others think is safe, love more than others think is wise, dream more than others think is practical, and expect more than others think is possible."
--- Anonymous
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
--- Anonymous
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."
--- Oscar Wilde
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."
--- Mother Theresa
"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."
--- Anonymous
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
--- Albert Einstein
"Once in a while you will stumble upon the truth but most of us manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened."
--- Winston Churchill
"Worrying is like being in a rocking chair, It gives you something to do but does not get you anywhere."
--- Anonymous
"Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away."
--- Tom Clancy
"Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses . . . on your powers, instead of your problems."
--- Paul J. Meyers
"Failure is not fatal. Only failure to get back up is."
--- John C. Maxwell
"By the time you are old enough to know that your parents were right, you have children of your own that think you are wrong."
--- Anonymous
"Most relationships are not made in heaven. They come in kits and you have to put them together yourselves."
--- Anonymous
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear."
--- Mark Twain
"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle."
--- Erin Majors
"Impossible is a word humans use too often."
--- Seven of Nine in StarTrek Voyager
"Nils Illigitimus Carborundurum" (never let the bastards grind you down)
Aussie Latin proverb
"To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--- Sun Tzu in "The art of War"
"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, His pleasure, His Desires, His life, His work, His sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I dont mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh God, as a woman i want to be Dominated. I dont mind being told to stand on my own two feet, not to cling to all that i am capable of doing but I am pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at His time, His Bidding......"
--- Anais Nin
"Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to say that you are then you're probably not"
--- M. Thatcher.
"Dream as if you'll live forever... live as if you'll die today."
--- James Dean
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go some place you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
--- Rules for living - The Dalai Lama
"Those who practice and promote Political Correctness are doing a service to society,
as I need to know who to shoot when we take over."
--- Borgia
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
--- William James
"Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."
Anonymous Dragon
"Truth gains more even by the errors of one who, with due study and preparation, thinks for himself, than by the true opinions of those who only hold them because they do not suffer themselves to think."
--- John Stuart Mills, On Liberty
"Let me test my mettle against your ambition... let me be the wall you drive into, I will be the one who will weather the storm, not because I love you, but because I can, and for that you will love me.
I am no hero and I am certainly not a martyr... I crave the challenge, it validates my own identity as a power house."
--- Anonymous
"He who is not busy being born is busy dying"
--- Bob Dylan
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
--- Marcus Aurelius
"Wisdom without kindness and knowledge without sobriety are useless."
--- The Fire from within, Carlos Castaneda
"Tunnel vision should never be confused with having a view."
--- Anonymous
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
--- H.L. Mencken
"I will always be honest with you...and you will either love me or hate me. But at least if you hate me, it will be for who I truly am, not for who I pretend to be."
--- Anonymous
"The most severe disability a person could possibly have can not be seen
on the physical body or heard by the physical ear... But it comes from within...
The most severe disability a person could possibly have is a
negative attitude, because you are saying, it's not possible, it's not true,
but worst of all, you're saying, you can't."
--- Anonymous
"There are two kinds of strengths:
the strength to lead,
and the strength to follow;
the strength to control,
and the strength to yield.
There are two kinds of power:
the power to strip another's soul bare,
and the power to stand naked."
--- Gurumayi Chidvilasananda
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
--- Theodore Roosevelt
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."
--- Confucius
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
--- Bill Cosby
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
--- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
--- John Lennon
"People will always talk about you, especially when they envy you and the life you live. Let them... you affected their lives, they didn't affect yours."
--- Anonymous
"Destiny is not a matter of chance; it's a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved."
--- William Jennings Bryan
"I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying."
--- Michael Jordan
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
--- Margaret Mead
"Man does not cease to play because he grows old, he grows old because he ceases to play."
--- Drew Lachey
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former."
--- Albert Einstein
"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."
--- Anonymous
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
--- Dr. Suess
"Excellence can be achieved if you . . . risk more than others think is safe, love more than others think is wise, dream more than others think is practical, and expect more than others think is possible."
--- Anonymous
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
--- Anonymous
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."
--- Oscar Wilde
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."
--- Mother Theresa
"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."
--- Anonymous
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
--- Albert Einstein
"Once in a while you will stumble upon the truth but most of us manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened."
--- Winston Churchill
"Worrying is like being in a rocking chair, It gives you something to do but does not get you anywhere."
--- Anonymous
"Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away."
--- Tom Clancy
"Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses . . . on your powers, instead of your problems."
--- Paul J. Meyers
"Failure is not fatal. Only failure to get back up is."
--- John C. Maxwell
"By the time you are old enough to know that your parents were right, you have children of your own that think you are wrong."
--- Anonymous
"Most relationships are not made in heaven. They come in kits and you have to put them together yourselves."
--- Anonymous
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear."
--- Mark Twain
"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle."
--- Erin Majors
zaterdag 26 mei 2007
The Invitation
I found this somewhere on the Internet and it left me speechless. So, thought I'd share it here as well. To me, this is the essence of connecting with people.
The Invitation - by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
The Invitation - by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
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