Just for the heck of it.. another one of my infamous alternative lyrics.. enjoy ;)
Fifty Ways to dump your lover
The problem is all inside your head, she said to me
‘Cause dumping is easy in SL’s reality
No need for drama if you just want to be free
There must be fifty ways to dump your lover
She said it’s really not my habit to intrude
But you deserve much better and besides, I think you’re cute
So I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to dump your lover
Fifty ways to dump your lover
Just put her on mute, dude
Give her a ban, Stan
Spread the word that you’re dead, Fred
Just get yourself free
Just don’t make a fuzz, Gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just make a new alt, Walt
And get yourself free
Just put her on mute, dude
Give her a ban, Stan
Spread the word that you’re dead, Fred
Just listen to me
Just don’t make a fuzz, Gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just make a new alt, Walt
And get yourself free
She said it hurts me so to see you with that girl
She’s really worthless, and to me you mean the world
I said I like you too and would you please explain
About the fifty ways
She said why don’t you go invisible tonight
And I believe in the morning you’ll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to dump your lover
Fifty ways to dump your lover
Just put her on mute, dude
Give her a ban, Stan
Spread the word that you’re dead, Fred
Just get yourself free
Just don’t make a fuzz, Gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just make a new alt, Walt
And get yourself free
Just put her on mute, dude
Give her a ban, Stan
Spread the word that you’re dead, Fred
Just listen to me
Just don’t make a fuzz, Gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just make a new alt, Walt
And get yourself free
dinsdag 23 december 2008
The Mom Song
Just because it made me laugh so hard I had tears running down my cheeks.. and because sometimes people forget just how much work it is to raise kids.. here it is, for all you moms and dads out there: the mom song.
zaterdag 20 december 2008
True meanings
In this fast paced world called SecondLife, words often don't have the same meaning they have in Real Life. Especially concepts like time and feelings seem to be quite different on SecondLife and those new to this virtual world are quite likely to fall into those pitfalls and get hurt, because they made the funny mistake to interpret words the way they would in real Life. Bad plan! So, having been around SL for some 4 years now, maybe it is time I share some of what I learned along the way with you. Here it is.
Hi, how r u?
Meaning: Hello, I am either a teenager or I think this way of talking is cool. I think your avatar looks hot and I would like to do unspeakable things to you, but I lack the imagination to come up with a more original opener than this one.
I have to go, but can we be friends?
Meaning: I would like to hump your avatar sometime soon but right now I'm kind of busy chatting up someone else who got here before you.
I bought some new couples poses, could you come over and help me adjust them properly?
Meaning: I need a lame excuse to hump you, let's see if you are stupid enough to fall for this one.
I want to get to know you better
Meaning: I would like to hump you.
It's your mind I'm after
Meaning: I couldn't care less about your mental capacities but hey, if it means I get to hump you, I can pretend.
I want you to be mine completely
Meaning: I want you to be available to me at all times.
This person is my best friend in SecondLife and that's all there is between us.
Meaning: Of course we have sex. We just don't see each other enough to warrant a relationship.
I'm a romantic at heart
Meaning: I'll go through the whole wine, dine, dance and rose petals thing if it means I get to hump you.
I'm poly
Meaning: I have difficulties committing since there's so many hot people on SecondLife. I will however be the only one who gets to play around since I am too jealous to let you do the same.
I'm a lesbian
Meaning: I'm quite likely to be a man in real life
I'm bisexual
Meaning: I'm either a man in real life trying to be less obvious than the "lesbian" mentioned before, or I am indeed female but quite likely to only play with women on SecondLife, since in the real world my husband would kill me if he found out I like women, too.
I love you
Meaning: Sex with you is fun and you look hot.
A loooong time
Meaning: several days
Forever
Meaning: 2 weeks
Hi, how r u?
Meaning: Hello, I am either a teenager or I think this way of talking is cool. I think your avatar looks hot and I would like to do unspeakable things to you, but I lack the imagination to come up with a more original opener than this one.
I have to go, but can we be friends?
Meaning: I would like to hump your avatar sometime soon but right now I'm kind of busy chatting up someone else who got here before you.
I bought some new couples poses, could you come over and help me adjust them properly?
Meaning: I need a lame excuse to hump you, let's see if you are stupid enough to fall for this one.
I want to get to know you better
Meaning: I would like to hump you.
It's your mind I'm after
Meaning: I couldn't care less about your mental capacities but hey, if it means I get to hump you, I can pretend.
I want you to be mine completely
Meaning: I want you to be available to me at all times.
This person is my best friend in SecondLife and that's all there is between us.
Meaning: Of course we have sex. We just don't see each other enough to warrant a relationship.
I'm a romantic at heart
Meaning: I'll go through the whole wine, dine, dance and rose petals thing if it means I get to hump you.
I'm poly
Meaning: I have difficulties committing since there's so many hot people on SecondLife. I will however be the only one who gets to play around since I am too jealous to let you do the same.
I'm a lesbian
Meaning: I'm quite likely to be a man in real life
I'm bisexual
Meaning: I'm either a man in real life trying to be less obvious than the "lesbian" mentioned before, or I am indeed female but quite likely to only play with women on SecondLife, since in the real world my husband would kill me if he found out I like women, too.
I love you
Meaning: Sex with you is fun and you look hot.
A loooong time
Meaning: several days
Forever
Meaning: 2 weeks
woensdag 10 december 2008
Stand by me - Playing for Change
Not just an incredibly well made music video and a whole bunch of extremely talented musicians from all over the world.. But also a song I love, and this version went straight to my core. Just listen, watch, but first and foremost: feel.
maandag 1 december 2008
Going dowwwwn
Today was one of those days I sat here shaking my head and wondering what the fuck is wrong with humanity. I know, I should probably stay away from reading the news and I usually do, but once in a while I do read up on it, and the results are usually not very positive.
George Double Yuck Bush proclaimed in an interview he wants to be remembered as the man who liberated 50 million people and brought the world so much closer to peace. Ehm.. excuse me? Am I the only one feeling an almost unstoppable urge to grab the waste bin from under my desk and just puke here? Just how thick is the concrete plate in front of this guy's head? I guess the most scary part is he probably actually believes this to be true.
And then there was this guy, just an ordinary guy like you and me, making a living by working at Walmart. And on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving when all the big sales start in the US, he was at work. A crowd had gathered outside, people eager to be the first to benefit, and so when the doors opened they all rushed in, pushing and screaming and pulling, like a stampede, unstoppable. Once they had made their way into the store, our friendly Walmart employee and several other people were on the floor, trampled, bleeding. The other people were injured.. but our friendly Walmart dude.. was dead. Later on a Walmart spokesperson speaking to the press called the whole thing "an unfortunate event".
I can go on, and on, and on. Someone got shot because of a dispute over a parking spot. A 49 year old woman drove a 16 year old girl to suicide by pestering and humiliating her over the Internet, pretending to be a 16 year old boyfriend. Someone raped a horse with a stick, causing so much damage the animal, very slowly and very painfully, bled to death.
Where do all these animals pretending to be human come from? No, let me rephrase that. Not even the cruelest of predators amongst the animals would ever act like this. They kill because they need to survive, not out of greed, hunger for power, an inflated ego or just because they can.
It makes me sick to my stomach. Angry, but primarily tremendously sad. Just the fact these things happen everywhere and on a daily basis, but even moreso the fact we have gotten used to it and most of us don't even think twice about it.
I know I'm supposed to keep fighting, keep inspiring and awakening and believing. It's what I do. But on days like this, I would love to simply hand back my orders to whatever deity is in charge of resignations, tell the planet to go fuck itself and be done with it.
Oh well. To paraphrase Terry Pratchett; The fact we are outnumbered only means it's gonna take a bit longer to conquer the city. I guess it's true. But right now.. if anyone wonders where I am.. you can find me with my head in my waste basket.
George Double Yuck Bush proclaimed in an interview he wants to be remembered as the man who liberated 50 million people and brought the world so much closer to peace. Ehm.. excuse me? Am I the only one feeling an almost unstoppable urge to grab the waste bin from under my desk and just puke here? Just how thick is the concrete plate in front of this guy's head? I guess the most scary part is he probably actually believes this to be true.
And then there was this guy, just an ordinary guy like you and me, making a living by working at Walmart. And on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving when all the big sales start in the US, he was at work. A crowd had gathered outside, people eager to be the first to benefit, and so when the doors opened they all rushed in, pushing and screaming and pulling, like a stampede, unstoppable. Once they had made their way into the store, our friendly Walmart employee and several other people were on the floor, trampled, bleeding. The other people were injured.. but our friendly Walmart dude.. was dead. Later on a Walmart spokesperson speaking to the press called the whole thing "an unfortunate event".
I can go on, and on, and on. Someone got shot because of a dispute over a parking spot. A 49 year old woman drove a 16 year old girl to suicide by pestering and humiliating her over the Internet, pretending to be a 16 year old boyfriend. Someone raped a horse with a stick, causing so much damage the animal, very slowly and very painfully, bled to death.
Where do all these animals pretending to be human come from? No, let me rephrase that. Not even the cruelest of predators amongst the animals would ever act like this. They kill because they need to survive, not out of greed, hunger for power, an inflated ego or just because they can.
It makes me sick to my stomach. Angry, but primarily tremendously sad. Just the fact these things happen everywhere and on a daily basis, but even moreso the fact we have gotten used to it and most of us don't even think twice about it.
I know I'm supposed to keep fighting, keep inspiring and awakening and believing. It's what I do. But on days like this, I would love to simply hand back my orders to whatever deity is in charge of resignations, tell the planet to go fuck itself and be done with it.
Oh well. To paraphrase Terry Pratchett; The fact we are outnumbered only means it's gonna take a bit longer to conquer the city. I guess it's true. But right now.. if anyone wonders where I am.. you can find me with my head in my waste basket.
maandag 6 oktober 2008
Global Villagers
I have spent many years on the Internet. In fact, I was online long before the Internet even existed. Back then, we had what was known as BBS's: Bulletin Board Systems. They basically were private computers open to the public, you could call them using a phone and a modem, download files, send messages, play simple games or chat with the Operator: the one running the system. I had my own BBS and I still have vivid memories, like chatting with a friend from Israel who called in from his basement in Jerusalem while the Exorcet rockets were doing their gruesome job to the city above him. It was an amazing experience, being able to talk with someone so far away as if they were right around the corner.
These days, the Internet is such an integrated part of our lives we have come to find it normal to speak to people from all over the globe. The global village has become a reality. Yet, at the same time, it is a virtual reality. Virtual not only because that is it's very nature, but also virtual as in: it appears to be. The anonimity of the Internet leaves plenty of room for people to lie, pretend, and hurt each other without risking repercussions. It is also, for the most part, a very superficial way of interacting. Most of us have tons of online "friends". It's funny really, how the word "friend" is used so lightly when it comes to online interactions. I mean.. would you call someone you occasionally run into at a bar in real life, a friend? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't, such a person would be "someone I know from the bar", or "an acquaintance". Ask yourself: How many of my "friends" would I still be able to reach if for some reason my Internet connection went down for months in a row? How many of them would be there for me, if I was in a crisis and desperately needed a shoulder to cry on? How many of them do I really know, and how many really know me, the real me, all flaws, strengths, fears and dreams included? And, and this is a scary one, how many of them would even notice if I disappeared? For me, the list of people I really consider friends is pretty short.
And then of course there is that other danger the Internet has brought us. Online life, not as an addition to, but as a substitute for, real life. I know people who actually live their life on the Internet. They don't have a job, they hardly ever leave the house, in fact their life is miserable and empty.. if it wasn't for the Internet. Because online, they are big. Running guilds and empires in virtual worlds, inventing and implementing brilliant strategies to conquer cities and kill incredibly strong monsters, king or queen of their self invented castle, all kneel to my true royalty. No no, I keep my true identity private, I don't mix both worlds. Please respect that. And I can't help but wonder: respect? But ehm.. you're an overweight 30 year old highschool dropout living in your mom's attic, sleeping till noon then spending your day and most of your night gaming and eating cold pizza. Just what am I supposed to respect?
Don't get me wrong. I spend quite some time on the Internet, myself. Surfing, gaming, chatting, writing, studying, couselling, teaching. But I try to keep a healthy balance between online and offline. I also try to be 100% myself in both worlds. it doesn't work all the time, but I try.
These days, the Internet is such an integrated part of our lives we have come to find it normal to speak to people from all over the globe. The global village has become a reality. Yet, at the same time, it is a virtual reality. Virtual not only because that is it's very nature, but also virtual as in: it appears to be. The anonimity of the Internet leaves plenty of room for people to lie, pretend, and hurt each other without risking repercussions. It is also, for the most part, a very superficial way of interacting. Most of us have tons of online "friends". It's funny really, how the word "friend" is used so lightly when it comes to online interactions. I mean.. would you call someone you occasionally run into at a bar in real life, a friend? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't, such a person would be "someone I know from the bar", or "an acquaintance". Ask yourself: How many of my "friends" would I still be able to reach if for some reason my Internet connection went down for months in a row? How many of them would be there for me, if I was in a crisis and desperately needed a shoulder to cry on? How many of them do I really know, and how many really know me, the real me, all flaws, strengths, fears and dreams included? And, and this is a scary one, how many of them would even notice if I disappeared? For me, the list of people I really consider friends is pretty short.
And then of course there is that other danger the Internet has brought us. Online life, not as an addition to, but as a substitute for, real life. I know people who actually live their life on the Internet. They don't have a job, they hardly ever leave the house, in fact their life is miserable and empty.. if it wasn't for the Internet. Because online, they are big. Running guilds and empires in virtual worlds, inventing and implementing brilliant strategies to conquer cities and kill incredibly strong monsters, king or queen of their self invented castle, all kneel to my true royalty. No no, I keep my true identity private, I don't mix both worlds. Please respect that. And I can't help but wonder: respect? But ehm.. you're an overweight 30 year old highschool dropout living in your mom's attic, sleeping till noon then spending your day and most of your night gaming and eating cold pizza. Just what am I supposed to respect?
Don't get me wrong. I spend quite some time on the Internet, myself. Surfing, gaming, chatting, writing, studying, couselling, teaching. But I try to keep a healthy balance between online and offline. I also try to be 100% myself in both worlds. it doesn't work all the time, but I try.
vrijdag 26 september 2008
Phew
Last Tuesday, our son Mike stayed home sick. He wasn't feeling well, and over the day the belly pains and diarrhea he was complaining about got worse. At first, we thought it was just a belly flu, but during the evening he kept having severe pains and started vomitting as well and it got so bad we took him to the doctor on duty at midnight. He was examined, and told it was just a belly flu, and that it would pass. Wednesday, he felt even worse. The pain got so bad he was dizzy and half dazed, and so we took him to our family doctor who agreed with us: this wasn't just a belly flu. The family doctor sent us to the hospital where he was examined by the pediatrist first, and then the surgeon.. soon, the verdict was clear: acute appendicitis, emergency surgery.
Wednesday evening at 7:30 they operated on him, and by 8:30 he was conscious again. The surgeon came to talk to us and told us it was just in time. The appendix was badly infected over its full length (did you know these things are about a finger long?) but it hadn't ruptured yet, so no gunk had gotten out. If that had happened, complications would have been severe. A ruptured appendix can cause infections all through the belly and in extreme cases the patient can even die from it. So phew, just in time, had we come a day later it would have been ruptured.
He spent two nights at the hospital. I stayed with him the first night, sleeping on a matrass next to his bed. Yesterday we visitied during the afternoon, with Joy, and in the evening Ron went to see him again. This morning Ron picked him up and now he's here again, still in some minor afterpain from the surgery, but looking and feeling an incredible lot better.
I'm so glad we didn't just go by the first doctor's opinion and went to our family doctor the next day. I can't even begin to express the feelings of relief and thankfulness about being on time, and being able to take our son back home, healthy and smiling. This has been tough emotionally, especially for Ron who lost his son Gerard only a few years ago. There were flashbacks of course, and he had to struggle with those while staying with Mike and being the rock in crisis situations he always is.
And so, both my men went through an incredibly hard time here, suffered what had to be suffered, and came out victorious. Mike's wound will heal, and I can only hope this experience and the way it ended will also help Ron heal a little bit more. All here, all healthy.. all is well.
Wednesday evening at 7:30 they operated on him, and by 8:30 he was conscious again. The surgeon came to talk to us and told us it was just in time. The appendix was badly infected over its full length (did you know these things are about a finger long?) but it hadn't ruptured yet, so no gunk had gotten out. If that had happened, complications would have been severe. A ruptured appendix can cause infections all through the belly and in extreme cases the patient can even die from it. So phew, just in time, had we come a day later it would have been ruptured.
He spent two nights at the hospital. I stayed with him the first night, sleeping on a matrass next to his bed. Yesterday we visitied during the afternoon, with Joy, and in the evening Ron went to see him again. This morning Ron picked him up and now he's here again, still in some minor afterpain from the surgery, but looking and feeling an incredible lot better.
I'm so glad we didn't just go by the first doctor's opinion and went to our family doctor the next day. I can't even begin to express the feelings of relief and thankfulness about being on time, and being able to take our son back home, healthy and smiling. This has been tough emotionally, especially for Ron who lost his son Gerard only a few years ago. There were flashbacks of course, and he had to struggle with those while staying with Mike and being the rock in crisis situations he always is.
And so, both my men went through an incredibly hard time here, suffered what had to be suffered, and came out victorious. Mike's wound will heal, and I can only hope this experience and the way it ended will also help Ron heal a little bit more. All here, all healthy.. all is well.
donderdag 25 september 2008
zaterdag 30 augustus 2008
No Angel
Those of you who know me a little, know I occasionally like to write poetry and/or songs, which really is the same thing if you ask me, only with songs it's poetry put to music. This particular one is a rock song I finished not too long ago and thought I would share. Hope you enjoy :)
No Angel
You tell me that you love me and that you will set me free
but I know the girl you're seeing is not really all of me
(just let me be)
You caught me and you held me when I took a damned deep fall
but the beast is back and roaring and I can't resist it's call
and sometimes it makes me wonder if you're knowing me at all
Chorus:
I don't want your type of heaven
I just don't look good in white
Give me leather and black velvet
I'm an angel of the night
You tell me I'm no angel
and I stare in big surprise
cause I hold the key to Heaven
and it's right between my thighs
You thought that you could change me, giving everything you've got
but baby I'm not happy being something I am not
The fire burns inside me and it's tearing us apart
and as much as I despise it I am bound to break your heart
but if you had really known me you had known this from the start
No Angel
You tell me that you love me and that you will set me free
but I know the girl you're seeing is not really all of me
(just let me be)
You caught me and you held me when I took a damned deep fall
but the beast is back and roaring and I can't resist it's call
and sometimes it makes me wonder if you're knowing me at all
Chorus:
I don't want your type of heaven
I just don't look good in white
Give me leather and black velvet
I'm an angel of the night
You tell me I'm no angel
and I stare in big surprise
cause I hold the key to Heaven
and it's right between my thighs
You thought that you could change me, giving everything you've got
but baby I'm not happy being something I am not
The fire burns inside me and it's tearing us apart
and as much as I despise it I am bound to break your heart
but if you had really known me you had known this from the start
maandag 25 augustus 2008
Faith
I don't really have a lot to write about right now. As far as things are happening here, they are happening inside of me, and I can not really put them to words yet. I'm doing fine, don't worry. Just an awful lot of thinking, reading, studying, and more thinking going on. I found this video on Youtube and it helped me see things I was thinking about in perspective. It is a bit sweet to my liking, but it is inspirational so i decided to share. Hope you like.
maandag 14 juli 2008
That time of the month
It's that time of the month again. No, not menstruation, I haven't had that in ages.. My endometriosis made the bleedings far too severe causing me to get anemic, weak and miserable and so the bleedings are being suppressed by medication now. But you can only fool the body up to a certain level and so I do still have a that time of the month. Which in my case means I am very tired, have a piercing headache and am so emotional I can cry over minor stupid things.
It also does something strange to my mind: it enhances the negative side of things. It is as if my focus gets shifted. An example: normally, my point of view about our dog is: I love him to bits even though I never really wanted a dog, and yes he sometimes makes a mess and demolishes things but hey, all part of having a dog and I wouldn't trade him for the world. But just now, when talking about the dog with my girl, I said something like : Yeah he's cute but he damages so much, we can't go anywhere anymore because he can't be alone for long, it's bad enough I need to clean up after you lot all the time but now there's an extra mess maker around the house as well and I should have stuck to my guns when we discussed it because I really, really didn't want a dog.
Both statements are equally true. But normally, I take the balanced, positive approach. Now, I feel myself slide down the slope towards the big black "this whole world sucks and they're all against me" hole and the scary thing is: I know it's happening, I know why, I fight it with everything I have in me.. but I can't stop it. Luckily I never go down the slope for more than a day or two. It never gets to be as bad as a real depression. Usually, around the third day of my that time of the month at some point I go : Pfft, what the hell was I whining about, pick myself up and go on living life as usual, laughing and joking and smiling a lot and being my strong, balanced, I can do anything me.
And in the meantime I hang on to everything I can grab to prevent myself from sliding too far down. Friends and loved ones who know me well enough to realize this is happening help, by making me laugh and letting me know they care. Ron knows and will usually simply tell me to do as little as possible, wrap me up in a bear hug and let me just relax and wait for it to pass. I have a bunch of amazing people around me and I'm eternally grateful for that. Still, I wish I didn't have this. And no I am not going to see a doctor. If I'd talk to one in my present condition I am pretty sure they would stuff me full of pills, diagnose me with depression and send in some well meaning worker, erapist or similar moron to make things a lot worse.
Breathing is a good thing. If I can just manage to keep doing that, keep my negative feelings and thoughts to myself so I don't scare the living daylights out of people around me and wait for this to pass, I will be fine. I hate negative, whiney people. But one or two days of each month, I am one. But at least I know, and I battle it. I'm off to take a long shower and let all the negativity and self pity wash down the drain. Have a wonderful day!
It also does something strange to my mind: it enhances the negative side of things. It is as if my focus gets shifted. An example: normally, my point of view about our dog is: I love him to bits even though I never really wanted a dog, and yes he sometimes makes a mess and demolishes things but hey, all part of having a dog and I wouldn't trade him for the world. But just now, when talking about the dog with my girl, I said something like : Yeah he's cute but he damages so much, we can't go anywhere anymore because he can't be alone for long, it's bad enough I need to clean up after you lot all the time but now there's an extra mess maker around the house as well and I should have stuck to my guns when we discussed it because I really, really didn't want a dog.
Both statements are equally true. But normally, I take the balanced, positive approach. Now, I feel myself slide down the slope towards the big black "this whole world sucks and they're all against me" hole and the scary thing is: I know it's happening, I know why, I fight it with everything I have in me.. but I can't stop it. Luckily I never go down the slope for more than a day or two. It never gets to be as bad as a real depression. Usually, around the third day of my that time of the month at some point I go : Pfft, what the hell was I whining about, pick myself up and go on living life as usual, laughing and joking and smiling a lot and being my strong, balanced, I can do anything me.
And in the meantime I hang on to everything I can grab to prevent myself from sliding too far down. Friends and loved ones who know me well enough to realize this is happening help, by making me laugh and letting me know they care. Ron knows and will usually simply tell me to do as little as possible, wrap me up in a bear hug and let me just relax and wait for it to pass. I have a bunch of amazing people around me and I'm eternally grateful for that. Still, I wish I didn't have this. And no I am not going to see a doctor. If I'd talk to one in my present condition I am pretty sure they would stuff me full of pills, diagnose me with depression and send in some well meaning worker, erapist or similar moron to make things a lot worse.
Breathing is a good thing. If I can just manage to keep doing that, keep my negative feelings and thoughts to myself so I don't scare the living daylights out of people around me and wait for this to pass, I will be fine. I hate negative, whiney people. But one or two days of each month, I am one. But at least I know, and I battle it. I'm off to take a long shower and let all the negativity and self pity wash down the drain. Have a wonderful day!
maandag 7 juli 2008
44
Last week, I turned 44. I don't really celebrate my birthday other than getting a big birthday cake and eating that with Ron and the kids. Oh and the fact I will get an iPhone, as soon as they're available here which is in only a few days time now. But birthdays don't mean a lot to me, and I stopped complying with the "general rules of conduct" dictating one should have a house full of people one needs to feed, fetch drinks and keep entertained all day long to the point where one ends up exhausted at the end of the day and realizing one was too busy to really have a decent conversation with any of the guests. Happy Birthday? Yes thanks, I'd like one, please don't come. I much rather see my friends whenever we like to see each other, and one or two at a time.
But my birthday did make me contemplate my life as it is now. I compared me now, with me 20 years ago. When I was 24, I was a hotshot manager, working 60-80 hours a week, traveling a lot for my job, making a lot of money. I was young, free, single and successful, 20 kilo's lighter than I am now and my clothing matched my perfume perfectly: both were by Chanel.
Now, I am a middle aged mom. I don't have a job outside of the house, I get paid for taking care of my mentally handicapped child by the government instead. I write a bit, I design and build a bit in Second Life, and I have several other interests I spend time on, music and spirituality being the biggest two there. I keep a big house with 6 cats, 2 rats, a dog, 2 kids and a husband clean and somewhat tidy and I run the family's finances.
In the eyes of the world, my 24 year old me was a lot bigger and hotter than my present self.
And yet.. given the choice, I wouldn't want to go back to who I was then. I am happier, more complete, more balanced, a little bit wiser and so much more myself now. And in spite of the 20 kilo's, I even think I am more beautiful now. Both my body and my spirit have been scarred by life itself. But both have also matured and are now well rounded in just the right places, the sharp edges gone. In every possible way, I am content with who and what I am. I love being 44.
But my birthday did make me contemplate my life as it is now. I compared me now, with me 20 years ago. When I was 24, I was a hotshot manager, working 60-80 hours a week, traveling a lot for my job, making a lot of money. I was young, free, single and successful, 20 kilo's lighter than I am now and my clothing matched my perfume perfectly: both were by Chanel.
Now, I am a middle aged mom. I don't have a job outside of the house, I get paid for taking care of my mentally handicapped child by the government instead. I write a bit, I design and build a bit in Second Life, and I have several other interests I spend time on, music and spirituality being the biggest two there. I keep a big house with 6 cats, 2 rats, a dog, 2 kids and a husband clean and somewhat tidy and I run the family's finances.
In the eyes of the world, my 24 year old me was a lot bigger and hotter than my present self.
And yet.. given the choice, I wouldn't want to go back to who I was then. I am happier, more complete, more balanced, a little bit wiser and so much more myself now. And in spite of the 20 kilo's, I even think I am more beautiful now. Both my body and my spirit have been scarred by life itself. But both have also matured and are now well rounded in just the right places, the sharp edges gone. In every possible way, I am content with who and what I am. I love being 44.
donderdag 5 juni 2008
If..
I had forgotten just how much I like the writings by Rudyard Kipling. Not just his novels, but maybe even moreso his poetry. This particular one I stumbled upon today while looking for something entirely different, but it was what I needed to read, without even realizing it. I have been having a hard time explaining myself and this Warrior path I am on to someone quite close to me recently, and although that wasn't exactly fun, it also forced me to rethink what it is that we do and why we made that choice, to begin with. So here goes, just something I want to share.
IF.....
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
IF.....
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
maandag 26 mei 2008
Shadow's 3.5 month evaluation
The newest member of our family (or is it: zoo?) is now 3.5 months old. Our black labrador Shadow has grown immensely during this time, and went from a tiny puppy to an already pretty big dog. I spoke to him earlier today and let him evaluate the time he has spent with us so far. Hey, all the big companies are doing it, so why not us.This is the feedback I got from him.
Let me start by saying that overall, I like my new job a lot. The humans here are friendly and for the most part seem adequate at what they do. They just seem a bit touchy at times. I felt particularly welcomed by the felines that seem to be everywhere in this house. Whenever I approached one they immediately took me jogging around the living room, the workout usually ending in them jumping on top of something. They probably don't realize I can't jump that high and follow them there, but it was a nice gesture nevertheless. I did have to get used to their way of greeting me. They outstretch their front paw and lash out at my nose. it hurts a bit, but I suppose it is their way of saying hello. I try to avoid it when I can but since they're so helpful when it comes to helping me exercise, it is something I have learnt to live with.
The humans have provided me with lots of useful things, such as food bowls and tons of toys that are scattered around the house. For some reason they don't like me gnawing on the toys they sometimes put on their feet and they get particularly nasty when I take things with buttons on them or when I gnaw on stuff from the desks they are often sitting on. The small humans also get upset a lot when I take things from the big toybox in the living room and play with them, my way. I can't help the fact my teeth need lots of things to gnaw on, and they can't expect me to know the difference between what they want me to gnaw on and what they don't want me to gnaw on. If it's within reach, I'll rip it to shreds. I'm a dog, it's what I do.
Another thing that is not going all that well yet is my disposing of bodily waste. I mean, if I gotta go, I gotta go, you know. Sometimes it happens before even I realize it. At other times, I try to attract their attention but somehow they fail to see it, and then they get angry when it ends up on the floor. I think they prefer me to do it outside, when they take me there. Why is beyond me, I know for sure they themselves never do it outside. My nose works just fine, I know what they do behind that closed door in the tiny room with the huge bowl in it. I guess it is because I am the newcomer. Maybe in due time I will graduate to the level where I get to do it in the tiny room, too.
I have learned lots of useful things here. Let me end this evaluation by sharing a few of them with you:
- Examining the vacuumcleaner by sticking your nose into the end of the hose while the thing is on, is a bad plan.
- Grabbing your stone water bowl and dragging it over the wooden floor is a guaranteed way to draw attention to the fact you'd like to have it refilled.
- It is a scientific fact that growing means things you used to be able to run under/hide in/walk through when you were a tiny puppy get smaller over time, to the point where you get totally stuck in them.
-Cats are great fun to chase. They are a lot less fun to chase when there is more than one cat in the room. They tend to team up on you.While you are busy chasing the first one, the second one will appear out of nowhere and go directly for your nose.
And last, but certainly not least:
- Big puppy eyes and a soft whimper have no effect on big male humans busy cleaning your poo off their feet at 6:30 in the morning.
Let me start by saying that overall, I like my new job a lot. The humans here are friendly and for the most part seem adequate at what they do. They just seem a bit touchy at times. I felt particularly welcomed by the felines that seem to be everywhere in this house. Whenever I approached one they immediately took me jogging around the living room, the workout usually ending in them jumping on top of something. They probably don't realize I can't jump that high and follow them there, but it was a nice gesture nevertheless. I did have to get used to their way of greeting me. They outstretch their front paw and lash out at my nose. it hurts a bit, but I suppose it is their way of saying hello. I try to avoid it when I can but since they're so helpful when it comes to helping me exercise, it is something I have learnt to live with.
The humans have provided me with lots of useful things, such as food bowls and tons of toys that are scattered around the house. For some reason they don't like me gnawing on the toys they sometimes put on their feet and they get particularly nasty when I take things with buttons on them or when I gnaw on stuff from the desks they are often sitting on. The small humans also get upset a lot when I take things from the big toybox in the living room and play with them, my way. I can't help the fact my teeth need lots of things to gnaw on, and they can't expect me to know the difference between what they want me to gnaw on and what they don't want me to gnaw on. If it's within reach, I'll rip it to shreds. I'm a dog, it's what I do.
Another thing that is not going all that well yet is my disposing of bodily waste. I mean, if I gotta go, I gotta go, you know. Sometimes it happens before even I realize it. At other times, I try to attract their attention but somehow they fail to see it, and then they get angry when it ends up on the floor. I think they prefer me to do it outside, when they take me there. Why is beyond me, I know for sure they themselves never do it outside. My nose works just fine, I know what they do behind that closed door in the tiny room with the huge bowl in it. I guess it is because I am the newcomer. Maybe in due time I will graduate to the level where I get to do it in the tiny room, too.
I have learned lots of useful things here. Let me end this evaluation by sharing a few of them with you:
- Examining the vacuumcleaner by sticking your nose into the end of the hose while the thing is on, is a bad plan.
- Grabbing your stone water bowl and dragging it over the wooden floor is a guaranteed way to draw attention to the fact you'd like to have it refilled.
- It is a scientific fact that growing means things you used to be able to run under/hide in/walk through when you were a tiny puppy get smaller over time, to the point where you get totally stuck in them.
-Cats are great fun to chase. They are a lot less fun to chase when there is more than one cat in the room. They tend to team up on you.While you are busy chasing the first one, the second one will appear out of nowhere and go directly for your nose.
And last, but certainly not least:
- Big puppy eyes and a soft whimper have no effect on big male humans busy cleaning your poo off their feet at 6:30 in the morning.
donderdag 24 april 2008
The L word
I would like to talk to you about the L word. No, not the TV series, nor lesbians. I mean Love, and more specifically: love related to online connections. Is it even possible to love somebody you only know from online? Can you connect to someone at that level without ever having looked them into the eye, without ever having held them in your arms? And for those of us into D/s: Is it possible to truly submit, or dominate, online?
My personal experience is that yes, I can, deeply and profoundly. But after giving my heart and having it handed back to me on a platter multiple times, I have also learned to guard my heart like a fortress. To me, the whole online world, and specifically SecondLife as that is where I can usually be found when online, is an integrated part of my life. It is a way to get in touch with people I would otherwise never meet. I am very much the same me, here and there, because I do not separate them. I realize that is rare. Most people I meet on SL see the "two lifes" as completely separate. Many profiles state that "RL is RL and SL is SL and let's keep it that way" or similar things. For me, that doesn't work. My feelings are real, I am incapable of "playing" emotions. Which I guess makes me vulnerable, because lots of people are quite capable of doing so.
Another thing I have noticed is that people do an awful lot of projecting, when on SL. They meet a beautiful avatar, fall in love, and in their mind this person becomes everything they have always dreamed of. They forget the person behind the avatar is very much human, probably not as stunningly beautiful as their avatar, and imperfect like all humans are. I have had that happen to me, repeatedly. And I have had to deal with the disappointment, even anger, from people when they finally realized I wasn't this dream woman they had turned me into in their mind.
And so, here's the deal. If you want to be a part of my life, you are more than welcome. If you want to conquer my heart, feel free to try. But know this. I am not here to play someone I am not. I will not let myself be turned into your fantasy, nor will I allow you to make me the center of your universe.. you will not be the center of mine, either. I already have a complete and quite fulfilling life, and my family is and always will be first on my priority list. I am polyarmorous by nature, and so the fact I love you does not mean I don't love anyone else, and it certainly doesn't mean I don't love my husband and am looking for an online substitute. If all this is a level of reality you cannot handle, then you and I won't get along well.
Still reading? Excellent, let's play. Or.. not play, rather. Let's be.
My personal experience is that yes, I can, deeply and profoundly. But after giving my heart and having it handed back to me on a platter multiple times, I have also learned to guard my heart like a fortress. To me, the whole online world, and specifically SecondLife as that is where I can usually be found when online, is an integrated part of my life. It is a way to get in touch with people I would otherwise never meet. I am very much the same me, here and there, because I do not separate them. I realize that is rare. Most people I meet on SL see the "two lifes" as completely separate. Many profiles state that "RL is RL and SL is SL and let's keep it that way" or similar things. For me, that doesn't work. My feelings are real, I am incapable of "playing" emotions. Which I guess makes me vulnerable, because lots of people are quite capable of doing so.
Another thing I have noticed is that people do an awful lot of projecting, when on SL. They meet a beautiful avatar, fall in love, and in their mind this person becomes everything they have always dreamed of. They forget the person behind the avatar is very much human, probably not as stunningly beautiful as their avatar, and imperfect like all humans are. I have had that happen to me, repeatedly. And I have had to deal with the disappointment, even anger, from people when they finally realized I wasn't this dream woman they had turned me into in their mind.
And so, here's the deal. If you want to be a part of my life, you are more than welcome. If you want to conquer my heart, feel free to try. But know this. I am not here to play someone I am not. I will not let myself be turned into your fantasy, nor will I allow you to make me the center of your universe.. you will not be the center of mine, either. I already have a complete and quite fulfilling life, and my family is and always will be first on my priority list. I am polyarmorous by nature, and so the fact I love you does not mean I don't love anyone else, and it certainly doesn't mean I don't love my husband and am looking for an online substitute. If all this is a level of reality you cannot handle, then you and I won't get along well.
Still reading? Excellent, let's play. Or.. not play, rather. Let's be.
dinsdag 15 april 2008
Universal Chess
What is my role, my lady? said the bishop to the queen
I cannot fight this battle along strategies unseen
The lady smiled and told him this: You.. you are here for me
And you need doing nothing else than this one thing: just be
You are right where you need to be so worry not, my friend
This war is really just a game and like all games it ends
Stand by my side, I need you here, with all your special traits
When in the end the game turns war, the evil horde invades
and wants my blood against all cost.. but then there will be you
and trust me darling, by that time you'll know just what to do
I cannot fight this battle along strategies unseen
The lady smiled and told him this: You.. you are here for me
And you need doing nothing else than this one thing: just be
You are right where you need to be so worry not, my friend
This war is really just a game and like all games it ends
Stand by my side, I need you here, with all your special traits
When in the end the game turns war, the evil horde invades
and wants my blood against all cost.. but then there will be you
and trust me darling, by that time you'll know just what to do
donderdag 27 maart 2008
Ouch.. redefined
I always thought of myself as a die hard when it comes to pain. I've been through so many things throughout my life that caused tremendous amounts of pain,and I keep amazing doctors and other people because I can take so much and heal so fast. I guess I became a bit arrogant about it, believing there was no pain in the world that could incapacitate me. And then, the Universe decided to teach me a lesson.
Two days ago, I woke up.. and couldn't move. The slightest attempt would cause me unbearable pain in my lower back and thighs, and even without moving it felt as if someone had stuck a knife in between two discs at the bottom of my spine. Struggling and crawling I managed to get out of bed anyhow, and I even managed to get myself up and down the stairs to wake the kids and get them dressed and ready for school. But no way I was ever gonna walk the 30 minutes to school to take them there. Luckily, my Love saw this was serious, and so he drove the kids to school and arranged to be home early enough to pick them up, as well. God I love that man, he so is my rock every time I need one.
While they were all gone I tried to phone our family doctor to make an appointment. The phone was busy constantly and when I finally did get through it was past the time for making an appointment and I got the answering machine. I dragged myself through the morning and, even though I thought that was not possible, the pain got worse. I could not stand, nor sit, nor lie down, nor walk. I took the heaviest painkillers I could find in the house, doubled the dose, and it didn't help a bit. Whatever I did or did not do.. it was pure and utter torture. It brought tears to my eyes and finally I decided to call the physiotherapist who helped me a few years ago when a disc in my neck had slipped causing part of my right hand to go numb. She listened, and she must have heard in my voice that I was in a bad shape, because she scheduled me for an appointment the very next day even though according to her assistant who initially answered the phone she was very busy, and it would probably take a while before she had a spot.
The day passed in a blur of pain and trying to cope, and the night was sleepless apart from a few short naps here and there. Yet, the next morning the pain was less. It was far from gone, but at least it was bearable. Ron took the kids to school again, and at noon when it was time to pick them up, I was brave enough to go there by bike, and I made it. In the afternoon I saw the physiotherapist, who massaged my cramped up muscles and then started pushing my bones back to where they should have been all along. That hurt, a lot, but it was nothing compared to what I had felt the day before.
That was yesterday, and today I am almost without pain as long as I don't make any weird moves, lift heavy things etc. Just a bit stiff. I'll need to go and see the physiotherapist a few more times to work on the last bits of irregularity in my lower back, but for the most part I am fine.
But mannn.. was I wrong in believing I knew it all and was too strong to be brought down by something as silly as pain. I'd rather have both my caesarians and if need be, a root canal treatment on the same day than go through this again. Hell.. lumbago be thy name. I salute you.
Two days ago, I woke up.. and couldn't move. The slightest attempt would cause me unbearable pain in my lower back and thighs, and even without moving it felt as if someone had stuck a knife in between two discs at the bottom of my spine. Struggling and crawling I managed to get out of bed anyhow, and I even managed to get myself up and down the stairs to wake the kids and get them dressed and ready for school. But no way I was ever gonna walk the 30 minutes to school to take them there. Luckily, my Love saw this was serious, and so he drove the kids to school and arranged to be home early enough to pick them up, as well. God I love that man, he so is my rock every time I need one.
While they were all gone I tried to phone our family doctor to make an appointment. The phone was busy constantly and when I finally did get through it was past the time for making an appointment and I got the answering machine. I dragged myself through the morning and, even though I thought that was not possible, the pain got worse. I could not stand, nor sit, nor lie down, nor walk. I took the heaviest painkillers I could find in the house, doubled the dose, and it didn't help a bit. Whatever I did or did not do.. it was pure and utter torture. It brought tears to my eyes and finally I decided to call the physiotherapist who helped me a few years ago when a disc in my neck had slipped causing part of my right hand to go numb. She listened, and she must have heard in my voice that I was in a bad shape, because she scheduled me for an appointment the very next day even though according to her assistant who initially answered the phone she was very busy, and it would probably take a while before she had a spot.
The day passed in a blur of pain and trying to cope, and the night was sleepless apart from a few short naps here and there. Yet, the next morning the pain was less. It was far from gone, but at least it was bearable. Ron took the kids to school again, and at noon when it was time to pick them up, I was brave enough to go there by bike, and I made it. In the afternoon I saw the physiotherapist, who massaged my cramped up muscles and then started pushing my bones back to where they should have been all along. That hurt, a lot, but it was nothing compared to what I had felt the day before.
That was yesterday, and today I am almost without pain as long as I don't make any weird moves, lift heavy things etc. Just a bit stiff. I'll need to go and see the physiotherapist a few more times to work on the last bits of irregularity in my lower back, but for the most part I am fine.
But mannn.. was I wrong in believing I knew it all and was too strong to be brought down by something as silly as pain. I'd rather have both my caesarians and if need be, a root canal treatment on the same day than go through this again. Hell.. lumbago be thy name. I salute you.
woensdag 20 februari 2008
Mothers I'd Like to...
Recently I came across the term MILF. I looked it up because I didn't know what it stands for, then grinned.. Mothers I'd Like to Fuck, or in other words: sexually attractive, older women. Usually aged between 35 and 50. Okay.. so I guess that makes me a MILF. Later that same day I got am IM in SL from a total stranger. It turned out he had done a search on women over 40 and my profile had popped up. He himself was a lot younger but he had this fascination with older women because as he put it: they are much better conversationalists and usually better at flirting, too.
It made me laugh. It also made me think. I can see why older women (and men) can be better conversationalists. They simply have more life experience, have seen and done more than younger people, and the chance they have learned a thing or two about themselves along the way, making them more balanced and self secured, is bigger. Then again I realize that is a broad generalization. I know childish, insecure, stupid people in their fifties, and absolutely wonderful people who know exactly who and what they are in their early twenties. The same thing goes for the sexual aspects of a person. More experience isn't always a guarantee for better. I've come across wonderful, tender and passionate virgin lovers in my lifetime, and alas also a few much older and very experienced ones who had apparently decided on the rabbit approach: hop on, do it like crazy for a minute or two, done, roll off, turn over. Absolutely boring and unsatisfactory to say the least.
I chat a bit with the stranger and then TP him to my place, where I am working on a few new designs. A minute later another friend walks in. We sit and chat for what turns out to be several hours. The young man has studied Zen, the friend is a psychologist. Soon the conversation takes flight and all kinds of subjects get discussed, from social behavior of people in large groups to personal development and what it means to make your own choices in life, from the relativity of things to BDSM in a spiritual context to politics. My mind is spinning, I absolutely love talking to people with well thought out opinions and insights and I love sharing mine.
It makes me realize that is what I miss most, sometimes. Food for thought other than from books and studying. Actual interaction with people. Apart from with my husband and a handful of online friends I don't have deep conversations a lot, simply because my life as a mother of two children, one mentally handicapped and needing almost constant care, leaves me bound to home. I crave the input and the mental sparring I was so used to when I was a career woman, traveling a lot and talking to people from all over the globe.
It is past midnight and I really have to log off, tomorrow being another day of getting up early to take the kids to school. My newly made friend tells me it is now early morning where he is.. he has spent all night talking with us. "And to think I really IMd you just to flirt.. but I'm so glad you actually have something to say!" is his comment. I guess that is what I like to be valued for. Don't get me wrong, I love flirting and cyber sex can be a great pastime. But in the end, connecting with people on the mental level is what I'm really after. And so I would like to introduce a new term.. I'd like to be a MILTT: a "Mother I'd Like to Talk To".
It made me laugh. It also made me think. I can see why older women (and men) can be better conversationalists. They simply have more life experience, have seen and done more than younger people, and the chance they have learned a thing or two about themselves along the way, making them more balanced and self secured, is bigger. Then again I realize that is a broad generalization. I know childish, insecure, stupid people in their fifties, and absolutely wonderful people who know exactly who and what they are in their early twenties. The same thing goes for the sexual aspects of a person. More experience isn't always a guarantee for better. I've come across wonderful, tender and passionate virgin lovers in my lifetime, and alas also a few much older and very experienced ones who had apparently decided on the rabbit approach: hop on, do it like crazy for a minute or two, done, roll off, turn over. Absolutely boring and unsatisfactory to say the least.
I chat a bit with the stranger and then TP him to my place, where I am working on a few new designs. A minute later another friend walks in. We sit and chat for what turns out to be several hours. The young man has studied Zen, the friend is a psychologist. Soon the conversation takes flight and all kinds of subjects get discussed, from social behavior of people in large groups to personal development and what it means to make your own choices in life, from the relativity of things to BDSM in a spiritual context to politics. My mind is spinning, I absolutely love talking to people with well thought out opinions and insights and I love sharing mine.
It makes me realize that is what I miss most, sometimes. Food for thought other than from books and studying. Actual interaction with people. Apart from with my husband and a handful of online friends I don't have deep conversations a lot, simply because my life as a mother of two children, one mentally handicapped and needing almost constant care, leaves me bound to home. I crave the input and the mental sparring I was so used to when I was a career woman, traveling a lot and talking to people from all over the globe.
It is past midnight and I really have to log off, tomorrow being another day of getting up early to take the kids to school. My newly made friend tells me it is now early morning where he is.. he has spent all night talking with us. "And to think I really IMd you just to flirt.. but I'm so glad you actually have something to say!" is his comment. I guess that is what I like to be valued for. Don't get me wrong, I love flirting and cyber sex can be a great pastime. But in the end, connecting with people on the mental level is what I'm really after. And so I would like to introduce a new term.. I'd like to be a MILTT: a "Mother I'd Like to Talk To".
dinsdag 29 januari 2008
Zeitgeist- The Movie
I'm not saying it is THE truth. But it is a movie worth watching, worth thinking about, and in many ways what it has to say is as viable as the common beliefs it is targeting. If it at least makes you think, then that is a good thing. Some may find it shocking, especially the claims that not only 9/11, but also Pearl Harbor, both World Wars and Vietnam were deliberately provoked/inside jobs, meant to better those who really rule this planet... Those holding on to their religious beliefs and refusing to even look at other possibilities, will probably state the first part of it is offending. But, as the slogan to the X-files series used to put it: The truth is out there. And I think we need to at least not close our eyes to various versions of it. Watch, and learn.
Zeitgeist - The Movie
Zeitgeist - The Movie
woensdag 9 januari 2008
Just be
Just a song I stumbled across while browsing music videos. The lyrics really say it all... Just listen
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